Would You Like Fries With That?

Oh for the love of special sauce. A study in the UK has revealed that not one, not two but EVERY single McDonalds touchscreen menu they tested had faecal matter on it. In one case,  they found the potentially deadly staphylococcus bacteria. If you think about it, this was always going to happen. Just place the study on top of the pile below hotel TV remotes, escalator handrails and airline touchscreens. Thanks people, we are one touch away from potential death. WASH YOUR FRIGGIN HANDS, please.

Best Break In

This is just pure dumbass gold. A woman squeezes through a McDonald’s drive thru window and well…just watch. It is rivetting, especially her lame attempt to hide her idenity.

Not Lovin It

A Ronald McDonald statue was unceremoniously escorted out of the Huadu commerce area by the Chinese enforcement officers because he was blocking foot traffic. The officers ripped poor Ronald off his base, leaving behind his big red shoes, after telling the Maccas staff if they “accept the punishment, they can have their statue back.” As if. Word on the streets is Colonel Sanders was behind it!

McUnhappy Meal

I’m guessing the worse thing about assaulting your wife with a McChicken burger is that it will be on your permanent record. The Des Moine dude claimed he chucked the offending burger at his pregnant wife because he hates them. Hmm, but when police arrived at their house the wife , who was covered in mayonnaise, claimed her hubby had smashed it in her face.

Simple Things In Life …. Will Cost You

If a group of hecklers in the Bronx start mocking your mom’s singing, please  don’t fight with them, they could shoot you in the head. Oh and while we are at it, you  might want to think twice about  refusing to buy a Florida woman a Mcflurry (ice cream) at Maccas. Yep, odds are she’s gonna  just pour alcohol and petrol over your car and light it …. woof!

You Just Can’t Win

What is the world coming to? Evidently a court-appointed psychiatrist told a judge during a custody hearing that a man was an unfit parent because …wait for it …he refused to take his son to McDonald’s. Evidently his 4 year old chucked a hissing fit during a visitation when he was told he could go to any restaurant except Maccas for dinner. When the snowflake refused all other options, he was put to bed without dinner. As a result he was deemed unfit and is now Mcsuing.

Want sauce with that?

McDouble Trouble

You go to McDonalds and order 7 McDoubles but when you get to your truck and discover you only have 6 what do you do? Well, most people would just roll their eyes and mutter dumbasses, but not our dude in Georgia. He confronted the staff who in turn gave him “attitude” so he dialled 911 on them. Oh yes he did. Hmm, unfortunately instead of the police reprimanding the staff for their inability to count, the cops threw him jail overnight for misusing the emergency number. Oh for crying out loud, the dude just wanted “to be treated like a person with respect.”