Tag Archives: MI5

Were The Royal Family Informed?

Color me cynical but I did raise an eyebrow when the Royal Family announced that Prince William would be delaying his honeymoon. I thought agents may have been worried that there was a  plot afoot to ruin his fairytale. Hmm, I’m now guessing the MI5 got wind of the US mission to bump off Osama Bin Laden and didn’t want the future King of England to be gallivanting overseas in the aftermath. Could this also be the real reason while president Obama was not invited to the Royal Wedding? Hello, what a perfect time to strike, when half the world were watching the nuptials !

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Who Were The Two Nuns At The Royal Wedding?

While the whole world was LOLing over the two atrocious hats worn by Princess Eugenie and Beatrice at the Royal wedding, some people were eyebrow raising over the two grey tunic nuns seated next to Wills and Kate during the ceremony. One in particular , the tall one wearing Reeboks, raised quite a bit of suspicion. Who were these nuns? Why did they get prime seats (especially when poor Chelsea  was near the exit)?  Were they “ninja nuns” or undercover MI5 agents? So many questions so few answers.

Psst All I can safely say is they weren’t friggin fashion police!

Nun or ninja?

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Girl Guide Spooks

I forgot what I had to say!

What’s worse than a Girl Guide  in your pocket? A Brownie in your pants. Hmm, a top secret British document has just been released which has confirmed 90 teenage Girl Guides were friggin spooks working for MI5 during World War I.Shocked? All the girls aged between 14-16 worked between 1914 and 1918 with their main role being to pass on messages (some even verbally) on behalf of the secret security services. originally MI5 focused on Boyscouts but soon switched to Girl Guides because they were less boisterous and talkative (and their damn biscuits were tasty!).

Psst Please god don’t let Kate Winslet find out or it’ll be another friggin Oscar.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Geez, What Big Tits You Have My Dear

All points bulletin out for the exploding tit brigade. MI5 say they fear Muslim doctors trained in Britain may be implanting explosives into Muslim women suicide bombers breasts. Golly gee, they even know the name of the explosives PETN (pentaerythritol Tetrabitrate). Oh and don’t you fear they are being sexist, if you happen to be a male volunteer you can get yourself a butt bomb. Geez, sitting down must be awkward let alone farting. Kaboom!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

How Do You Fake A Missing Limb?

Hmm, typing with a missing finger are we?

Hmm, typing with a missing finger are we?

Holy covert spooks Batman. OK here’s the thing Ministry of Defence people, it is highly unlikely that compensation cheats joined the forces to rip you off. They are doing quite nicely back home without having to dodge bullets in Iraq and Afganistan first, thank you very much. But it has been revealed that the British MoD are using their undercover spying powers to weed out would-be injured soldier fraudsters  by any means possible, including video surveillence, wire tapping and scanning phone records. How the hell do you fake a friggin war injury?  Hmm and anyone claiming compo better be friggin careful, you are being watched! Over 200 injured soldiers have received threatening letters warning them they could possibly be under surveillance. Nothing like knowing they care! It seems the MoD are using the controversial Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act (RIPA), which was originally set up to help the police and MI5 monitor terrorists in the UK, to allow them to spy. Hmm, if that had paid this much attention to Osama Bin Laden maybe they would have…ah never mind!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, Thanks For Nothing