Can You Hear The Lambs Clarice?

Want to make extra money while studying at uni? Why not do what Jack does? He taught himself taxidermy and is now selling dead animal pencil cases. How sweet. He collects most of his material (dead animals) from pest control then sells them around the world.
Jack is philosophical about his work “Some people have suggested my work is satirical or that they have a deeper meaning but they are just daft.”

PSST – The case also includes  a pencil sharpener but I will leave it to you to guess where that is inserted!!!!!

Mousetrap

Last one into to the upstairs bath is a dirty rat.

You spend one million dollars on your dream home in Winnipeg without bothering to have it inspected first, of course you are going to discover all the walls are infested with mice. And by mice I mean, so bad “All you see is just feces and urine”. Experts believe the mice have been sharing the abode for about five years. The woman , who has had to have all the drywall ripped out and every millimetre disinfected, is considering suing the previous owners. Hello,  she should be just grateful it wasn’t snakes!!!!

Psst Who buys a million dollar house in Winnipeg?

Honey, Why Are There Bite Marks In My Bickies?

OMG Poundland, say it ain’t so. The British cheap chain store in Croydon has been busted for selling mice chewed biscuits and sweets. Seems staff have been resealing the packets with sellotape and then on-selling the rodent gnawed food to customers, with an extra discount of course. Oh my, that’s a health and safety breach right there. Hmm, so they weren’t chocolate chip cookies  😯

Start Spreading The News

Guess which New York City class sold out in 4 hours? Ah, why do I bother, you’ll never guess right anyways. It was the gallery taxidermy class where you dress up dead mice to look like humans. If you’ve seen the film “Dinner for Schmucks” you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. It was once a hugely popular Victorian society pastime but has suddenly burst back from obscurity. The classes cost $45 and for that you get a frozen mouse which you get to syringe out the blood, scrape out the entrails, remove the bones and then dip in chemicals. The fun part is using wire to set the rodent’s pose and then dress it up. Anywho, due to the quick sell out, three more classes have been added. Sheez, they should think of using rats, there is an unlimited supply of them in New York.

Vermin in Aisle 6

Sheez, I gotta cut down, none of my clothes fit!

OK, no need to panic Tesco shoppers in Birmingham, but the next time you buy McCoy’s variety pack of chips you might want to put your ear up to it first and check for sounds of vermin. A mice invasion left shoppers screaming in fear as about 6 pink mice burst out of a bag of crisps.  Seems the store is plagued by mice who are no longer happy with the accommodation at the nearby canal and railway track. So desperate to pig out on snacks the creatures came up through the floor and headed straight to aisle 6 .

From The Animals That Brought You The Plague

If you happen to be on a train in England and it breaks down, not to worry it’s probably a rat or mouse chewing through a high voltage cable. One little rodent is believed to be responsible for 99 trains coming to a standstill in Cheshire (where’s the friggin cat). Oh and yet another evil vermin  caused the cancellation of 107 trains and delayed up to 289, between Preston and Lancaster. The little shits are going to cost taxpayers millions of pounds for the  laying of  20,000 miles of steel-armored replacement cable.

Squeaky Clean

I hope the coffee is cold today

Oh for goodness sakes people, keep your desk clean. A family of mice have been found cavorting on a policeman’s desk in Kennington, London. The mice had found themselves a nice pile of paperwork and made themselves at home. It is believed the mouse droppings were the dead give away to their hide out.