Tag Archives: Milwaukee

Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty

Sleep with one eye open people of Milwaukee there seems to be a lion on the loose. Since a woman filmed what looks like a lion strolling around her backyard on her cellphone, residents have been tip toeing around their neighbourhood in fear of the beast. Despite concerns by police most locals are taking to social media to pull the piss #MKELion. All fun and games until someone gets mauled. Might want to ring Mick Fanning.

 

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife

The Sausage Has Been Found

Klement's racing Italian Sausage costume has been foundStop looking everybody the missing Klement’s racing Italian Sausage costume has been found. Thank goodness. The 7ft costume called Guido, which features in the Milwaukee Brewers baseball games, was last seen on Feb 16th. The Italian sausage walked out of a fundraiser at the Milwaukee Curling club then made an unexpected appearance at TJ Ryan’s bar in Cedarburg before heading to The Roadhouse Bar and Grill around midnight. That’s where the lead went cold. However last Wednesday two mysterious men plopped the sausage costume up on a bar stool at the Roadhouse Bar and Grill telling the bartender “You did not see anything,” and promptly skedaddled.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome

Note To Self – Check For Red Dye Pack

A Milwaukee bank robber, dubbed the “Green robber” for catching public transport to and from his crime scene, was left a little red-faced when his getaway money exploded while he was on the bus. Damn those sneaky tellers, they managed to slip a red dye pack into his bag of money… and you pretty much know the rest…..kaboom.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

I’ll Drink To That

Can anyone name the “drunkest” city in America? If you said Milwaukee, have a drink. On average they guzzle around 13 drinks a month. The other greatest cities  on earth include Fargo, San Francisco, Austin and Reno.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

Death By Falling Fridge

OK, here’s the thing people, when hurling a fridge over a fourth floor balcony make sure your work colleague is a good catcher. A man died in Milwaukee after he was hit by a fridge thrown from an apartment building by his work mates. Despite the men yelling a warning the victim is believed to have walked right under the path of the fridge as it fell.

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Filed under End Credit

Lighting A Bomb 101

Crap, I knew the fuse was too short!

Two men from Milwaukee are licking their wounds after they were injured trying to light an explosive. One lost his hand in the explosion and the other is just glad he didn’t. The pair are now under investigation .

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Welcome To My Worst Nightmare

Thank god you're here!!!!

Hmm, when Milwaukee police went to investigate an alleged sexual assault at a house they walked right into a friggin nightmare. The house and nearby building were crawling with alligators, snakes, turtles, rodents, spiders and one thankful chicken! At least 5 anaconda snakes were slithering around the rooms unconfined. Hmm, a woman has been charged with intentionally mistreating animals which  could only mean one thing…animals + alleged sexual assault =OMG!

Psst See, this is why the whole Noah’s Ark thing wouldn’t have worked out well!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !

Cross Dressing Car Thief

People in Milwaukee be on the look out for a cross dressing car thief. The man in his 20’s loves nothing better than stealing cars and leading police on high-speed chases while dressed in women’s clothing and make-up.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Never Punk Your Mom

Blahahaaha it's meeee....

OK, here’s the thing people, if you decide to play a prank on your mom, make sure she isn’t armed. A 21 year old man from Milwaukee thought it would be a hoot to scare his mom, so he donned a ski mask and pretended to rob her. Boo! Hmm, she whipped out her .357 revolver faster than you could say WTF and  opened fire. The son was hit twice by bullets with one hitting him right in the groin. Bye-bye grandkids.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, How Embarrassing, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Hair Today

Do you know what happens to little girls who play with their braids in class? The teacher will cut them off! Lamya Cammon can vouch for this because her teacher did just that. Evidently Lamya, a first grader  from Milwaukee, was absentmindedly playing with her hair when the teacher called her to the front of the class, grabbed the classroom scissors and snip…one braid gone dot com. Oh and do you think her mom was furious? Hello yes, that will be physical and mental abuse thank you very much.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never