Tag Archives: minnesota

No Bull

Attention good folks of Minnesota, if you happen across a “milk jug” looking cannister please don’t pour over your breakfast cereal. Seems the cannister contains $70,000 worth of bull semen which went missing from an unlocked barn. Just so you know.


Filed under Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Minnesota Goes To The Dogs

Aboxer_dog_peeking_outside_doggie_door_lg_whtwesome.  The Minnesota town of Cormorant has elected a dog as mayor.  Duke the 4 year old pooch won by a landslide. Woof.


Filed under Friggin Awesome

False Alarm, No Zombies In Minnesota

shrug 3Sorry officer, I had to steal the newspaper delivery truck because I was being chased by zombies ..honest to god. Yeah, well, was the Zombie called Jack Daniels, Jim Beam or Johnny Walker by any chance? Hmm, you obviously see dead people when your blood alcohol level is 0.198. Movie on, nothing to see here except some random drunk dude from Minnesota.


Filed under They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Look, Up In The Wall Cavity , It’s A ….

Man finds valuable comic in wall of houseSome bastard in Minnesota found a comic book in the wall of his home he was remodelling. Big deal you say. The friggin comic is the 1938 Action Comics #1 which features a new character, Superman. The damn thing is worth over $100,000. It would have been worth more if he hadn’t rip the back cover after he snatched it out of his wife’s aunts hands during all the excitement.


Filed under Well I Never

Steroid Linked To Meningitis Outbreak

Attention 600 people from Minnesota who were given a steroid shot (methylprednisolone) at pain clinics recently. No need to panic just quite yet but it seems the product is linked to an outbreak of fungal meningitis. OK, maybe you should be mildly concerned. On a brighter note, the worry should take your mind off your chronic pain.

Want sauce with that?


Filed under Friggin Scary, Well I Never, Whoops!

Honey, Why Does This Mink Stink?

What the? Stephanie Moreland, who was arrested on suspicion of stealing a $6,500 mink coat from the Alaskan Fur Company in Minnesota, sat in jail for three days with it hidden in her undies (undetected).Damn, she’s good. She even modified her knickers for the fur theft, cutting out the rear so it looked as though she wasn’t  wearing underwear whilst all the time the coat was stuffed down the front. When police arrested her, Moreland denied having the coat.It was only after Bloomington police  told her she was being sent to a downtown jail did she lift her dress and produce the coat. Ta-da.

Psst Not all the dry cleaning in the world would…ah never mind!

Want sauce with that?


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Big Bang Theory

Merry Christmas

Holy orgasm Batman, a Minnesota man is in big trouble after he customized a vibrator to explode .Yes, a vibrator bomb. Dear lord, now that’s what I call “going out with a bang!”  Anywho, Terry Allen Lester packed the black vibrator with gun powder, BB shot and buck shot and then attached wires to a trigger. Seems his plan was to give it to one of his exs as a Chrissy present. Fortunately it never came to fruition as his roomies dobbed him into police. In the official complaint the roommates said Mr Lester “told them when the device was inserted into the female he would pull the trigger and it would blow them up,”  When police searched his house they also uncovered a pink vibrator with “Merry Christmas Bitch” written on it. Hmm, unlucky, because that’s a terrorist threat charge right there.

Psst Thanks to Fever Beaver for the tip off !!!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

You Can’t Ban The Friggin Tron Guy!!!

Oh for crying out loud, a cinema in Minnesota is banning the Tron guy (aka Jay Maynard) from viewing the new 3D Tron movie in his famous costume. Damn you to hell, the dude’s a friggin legend….plus he commented right here on the Friggin Loon way back in 2009 when I pulled the piss on him.

It ain't THAT bad!!!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Leave It To Beaver

Vagina? Hands praying?

Oh my, a beaver statue in Bemidji, Minnesota has been removed after some people thought the scene painted on it looked like a vagina rather than the hands of a woman praying. Ooh ah, a beaver’s beaver! The artist Deborah Davis and several others were so upset to discover the beaver had been removed from the Bemidji Sculpture Walk they stood at the empty site and held up “Censored” signs while other artists covered their beaver sculptures in protest too.

Psst This would never happen at a CowParade 🙂


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Friggin Sack Tapping

Ow, ow, ow ...

No snowflakes, no. Playing “sack tapping” is only going to lead to tears. A Minnesota teenager is one testicle short after having been punched in the groin thanks to a stupid game sweeping schools. David Gibbons was changing classes when he was sack tapped (aka whacked in the balls) by another student. All seemed fine until a few hours later when he woke up in excruciating pain. Doctors were forced to remove his right testicle. Evidently this isn’t uncommon, Minnesota urologist Dr Scott Wheeler says he has to deal with up to 4 cases of ruptured testicles a year due to the ball busting game.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!