Tag Archives: Missouri

Hey Honey, Why Are You Glowing?

If you are living in St Louis County, Missouri I don’t want to be alarmist but you might want to pack your bags and run. Seems there is a little issue with a slow burning underground fire and a shit load of Cold War-era nuclear waste. Authorities believe if the two should meet …kaboom… a catastrophic event right there. And by “event” I mean a big old plume of radioactive smoke wafting over the area. Seems authorities have been aware of this potential disaster for over 5 years when the underground fire at one of the landfills first started. Prob is, it is right next to another landfill which is contaminated with radioactive waste from uranium processing that was dumped there in the 1970s. It includes material used to create the first atomic bomb. Oh yay. Currently the fire and nuclear waste are about 365 metres from each other. Good luck with that.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

Tell It Like It Is

trailer peopleI’m guessing the moral compass for a Missouri man kinda went south after he told police he shot his wife because he was “tired of her”. Awks. Fortunately the wife survived … unfortunately, he’ll be facing her wrath when he gets out of the slammer!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Catch Of The Day

A Missouri man avoided a big bang when he reeled in a sock containing a live hand grenade while fishing.  Enter bomb squad who identified it as a “Mark 2 pineapple grenade from the Vietnam era,”. Sheez, imagine if he had hooked the pin ….fish for everyone!!!!

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Well I Never

I Just Wanted To Know How It Felt

The last thing you would be wondering when you are fifteen is what it feels like to kill, right?  Evidently not for Alyssa Bustamante, she’s pleaded guilty to murdering her 9 year old neighbor Elizabeth Olten in 2009. Bustamante from Missouri strangled, stabbed and then cut the girl’s throat because she wanted to know how it felt. She told the judge yesterday she was knew what she was doing when she murdered Elizabeth. Hmm, that was pretty evident by the fact Bustamante had dug a grave  a week before the killing, in preparation.

Psst If Bustamante hadn’t pleaded guilty and the case went to trial she could have been facing life in prison without the possibility of parole if convicted. This way she is facing 10-30 or life with the possibility of parole.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Sugar Plum Fairy Gets Sacked For Swearing During Drug Test

What is the world coming to when St Charles’ Sugar Plum Fairy of five years gets fired for swearing during a drug test? Oh, she also works in an adult-themed comedy burlesque shows. Well, sack her silly ass then. Hang on, why does a Sugar Plum Fairy have to take a drug test anyways? Oh, Christmas festival + little kiddies = urine test . Laura Coppinger who has been the Sugar Plum Fairy for 5 years evidently flushed the toilet during her little drug testing twinkle and got told off by the drug adminstrator. They don’t take to kindly to flushing in Missouri, as it could easily be a way to dilute the wee. That’s when the fairy let rip with a cuss word and ultimately lost her $13.08 an hour job (despite only the administrator hearing). Hmm, now the only pole she is going to see is at her adult-themed comedy burlesque show. Bummer.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Killer Tornado Hits Joplin Missouri

Thoughts and prayers to everyone affected by the killer tornado which hit Missouri yesterday. Many of our regulars have family and friends in those towns, including Sekan Blunt Delivery and Mel.  The number of injured has climbed to 1200 with the fear the death toll will exceed 120 with many believed still trapped under the rubble . The worst hit was Joplin where the tornado cut a path that was nearly six miles long & half a mile wide through the heart of the town destroying everything in its wake. The hospital took a direct hit and has been forced to close.

Psst For those who would like to help, please send donations to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund, or call 1-800-REDCROSS.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

Well That Really Is a Spread

You know what I hate? When 20 tons of mayonnaise spills onto Interstate 44 in Missouri and you don’t have any bread. I really friggin hate that! The driver is believed to have lost control causing the condiment to spill friggin everywhere.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Whoops!

Honey, Can You Mow The Lawn

Oh shit!!!!

The moral of the story is never work on your lawnmower in the house. A Missouri man told firefighters he was smoking a ciggie while working on his lawnmower in a bedroom when… kaboom. The explosion sparked a fire that engulfed his home.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Dentist More Dangerous Than a Battlefield

OMG, a Missouri Veterans Administration Hospital may have accidentally exposed 1,800 veterans to hepatitis, HIV or any other life threatening disease you can care to think of. In the next few days 1,812 veterans are gonna be getting a nice “WTF” letter in their mailbox. Hmm, seems the hospital had a “failure to clean dental instruments properly” problem. Sheez, what, like 1,800 times? The hospital said some dental technicians had hand washed tools before putting them in the cleaning machines. Despite there being only a minimal risk of anyone catching something nasty, the hospital is offering serology testing for hepatitis B, C and HIV to anyone who received the letter.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Anti Boob Bill

Expect more of this!

What the? How the hell are you going to run strip joints in Missouri if you can’t have nudity or alcohol. Sheez, you might as well go to church! Governor Jay Nixon is about to sign a bill this Friday outlawing nudity and the serving of alcohol in all Missouri strip clubs. Oooh and I forgot, all the fully clothed, sober boys and girls have to be out of the joints by midnight. Hmm, I certainly hope the rape rate won’t increase! The man behind the anti boob bill is Matt Bartle, a Republican state senator, who has spent his whole friggin political career trying to close the doors of every adult store and strip club in the state. Still no cure for cancer!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never