Tag Archives: mouse

The Mountain Dew Mouse Clause

Crap

Ewh, ewh, ewh, a man who claims he found a dead mouse in his can of Mountain Dew may have an uphill battle proving it after Pepsi Co are adamant the rodent would have dissolved to jelly long before the drink touched his lips. Ronald Ball, who is suing the soft drink giant said he bought the Mountain Dew from a vending machine in 2009 but when he took a swig he instantly tasted something foul and spat the contents out. Low and behold what he spat out was a dead mouse. Mr Ball sent the remains to the Pepsi company who did the usual tests but concluded that the mouse would have dissolved in the soft drink had it been inside from the time of bottling to when he drank it. Oh dear there goes that $50,000 he was seeking in damages. As for Mountain Dew….it can dissolve a mouse?

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Start Spreading The News

Guess which New York City class sold out in 4 hours? Ah, why do I bother, you’ll never guess right anyways. It was the gallery taxidermy class where you dress up dead mice to look like humans. If you’ve seen the film “Dinner for Schmucks” you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. It was once a hugely popular Victorian society pastime but has suddenly burst back from obscurity. The classes cost $45 and for that you get a frozen mouse which you get to syringe out the blood, scrape out the entrails, remove the bones and then dip in chemicals. The fun part is using wire to set the rodent’s pose and then dress it up. Anywho, due to the quick sell out, three more classes have been added. Sheez, they should think of using rats, there is an unlimited supply of them in New York.

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Mousetrap

Bummer!

I’m sorry but a taser, pepper spray and a baton ain’t gonna calm a man who has a mouse up his butt, I’m just saying. A naked Noah Smith broke into a house in Seneca and began going ballistic. When police arrived he  tried to bite, slap and kick them, so they zapped, sprayed and whacked him. Later at the hospital x-rays revealed he had a mouse lodged in his rectum. Smith told the docs he didn’t have a clue how the rodent got there. Hmm, the Gere excuse.

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Daddy, Why Is There Fur In My Sandwich?

Good grief, there is nothing worse than making lunch for your snowflakes only to discover a dead mouse in the loaf of bread. No seriously, that’s gross. Worse still, Stephen Forse from Oxfordshire had already used some of the bread. Initially he thought it was just a hard spot where the dough had failed to mix but on closer inspection it was a dead rodent. Want to see it? OK, but be warned it’s gross … the dead mouse.

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David Coppermouse

Want to know how the little buggers foil your damn mouse traps?

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What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

I am not going to tell you the ending, you’ll just have to watch…

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More Reasons Not To Fly

No need for alarm but has anyone seen a wee tarantula?

No need for alarm but has anyone seen a wee tarantula?

OMG, what is going on people?  A British Airways flight was cancelled after a passenger spied a tarantula crawling between his legs and in New York a mouse grounded a flight at JKF after messing with the pilot. Has the world gone friggin mad? The British Airways flight had just landed in Edinburgh when the man raised the alarm after some big, hairy 8 legged creature  wandered up his leg. A specialist fumigator (is there such a beast?) was sent in for the kill. Meanwhile across the Atlantic a mouse was behind the delay of a Delta Airline plane headed to Heathrow . Seems the pilot refused to take off  due to fears the little bugger could have bitten through wiring. Passengers had to wait three hours for a rodent free plane to arrive. Can I have the window seat?

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Mystery Mouse

Whew, I could hold on much longer!

Whew, I couldn't hold on much longer!

Oh dear god, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration are investigating claims a dead mouse was found in a can of Diet Pepsi. A guaranteed way to lose weight I say.Fred Denegri knew something was up when he thought his Diet Pepsi tasted weird. After pouring the contents out he discovered to his horror that his drink also contained the body of a mouse. Well, any consolation, at least it was dead! A spokesman for Pepsi said “It is virtually impossible for this type of thing to happen in a production environment,”. Seems unless it was speedy Gonzales there was no way in hell a rodent could get into their 1,250 cans a minute manufacturing process. It’s a job for David Copperfield.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Join the skeptic club!, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!