Tag Archives: naked burglar

Mousetrap

Bummer!

I’m sorry but a taser, pepper spray and a baton ain’t gonna calm a man who has a mouse up his butt, I’m just saying. A naked Noah Smith broke into a house in Seneca and began going ballistic. When police arrived he  tried to bite, slap and kick them, so they zapped, sprayed and whacked him. Later at the hospital x-rays revealed he had a mouse lodged in his rectum. Smith told the docs he didn’t have a clue how the rodent got there. Hmm, the Gere excuse.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

What a Dick!

No not him officer, he was naked and about this big!

No not him officer, he was naked and about this big!

Shame, a naked man who broke into an 88 year old’s house in Portland was not expecting her to grab his crotch and crush his balls. Oh no, poor Michael Gordon Dick (ironic really!) thought it would be a piece of cake to burgle and expose himself to the defenseless old lady. Hmm, when he force her face down onto a chair well, she did what any smart thinking senior cit would , she reached around and grabbed his privates and squeezed like there was no tomorrow. He fled the scene in tears. I am assuming it was probably erect at the time, but a few sharp twists and tugs would have fixed that! Mr Dick was later caught by police. I assume he was still having trouble walking! Imagine the teasing he will get in prison! Granny has asked for her name not to be released.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, How Embarrassing, Sore Loser, You Go Girl!