What is worse than Donald Trump’s hair? Hmm, how’s about naked Donald Trump statues. Dear lord. A Cleveland artist is responsible for the life size Trump sculptures that have popped up in around New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Seattle and Cleveland. Some things can’t be unseen.
Psst : The plaques on the statues read “The Emperor has no balls”.
Danielle Yancey? Anyone heard of Danielle Yancey? Well anywho, she is a US reality TV star (using that term lightly…never heard of her) and she just discovered a naked creepy guy wearing a Ronald Reagan mask wandering around her porch. Good news is, he had the decency to put a sock on it so she didn’t have the horror of seeing his manhood. The CCTV footage shows the creepy naked sock wearing guy peering into her window. Evidently HE was spooked by Danielle (anyone?) Yancey’s hubby and scampered off into the night. Sleep with one eye open.
You know what I hate? When a real estate drone takes a snap of you sunbaking in a g-string and then the pic is blown up and placed on a giant billboard outside your neighbour’s house. Gotta hate that! The shot was taken to sell the property next door but no one bother to crop the poor woman out. . Evidently people were having a right old chuckle before she realised it was her. Oh and to make the shame more real the image also appears in the real estate magazine and on the real estate website.
Some random naked drunk dude enters your home, turns your hot water sink sprayer on full blast, does a huge crap on your carpet then paints the walls with it and the police don’t arrest him. Now that would make you pissed! The family held him at gun point until the cops rocked up but they only cited him for two misdemeanors. Bummer.
You know what is worse than sitting in the Waffle House with your pants down near your ankles? Hmm, how’s about starting up a conversation about your penis? Dude! OK, settle loons, he did have his boxers on which kinda makes the story a tad boring…. as you were.
Some dude stripped naked on the tarmac at Manchester Airport after peeing on the terminal building. Not only did he have to face the humiliation of showing off his jangly bits but he got his face slapped by his furious girlfriend before being tasered by the police. Otherwise it was a great hol.
How can you find out if your boyfriend is a keeper? Hmm, by having a naked sex romp outside your apartment and if you get your head stuck between the handrails of a staircase and he flees before emergency workers arrive, you probably need to go back to eHarmony.
A wheelchair bound shoplifter with mutliple arrests has done it again, but this time he was caught in the produce aisle naked with cherry tomatoes covering his privates. He was also caught concealing a half frozen Jimmy Dean sausage sandwich (location not disclosed) . Ewh, I hope they didn’t put them back on the shelf.
You know what I hate? When you come home and find some dude dancing naked in your house . I really friggin hate that, especially when he refuses to leave. When El Paso cops arrived they found the intruder still inside but he had quit dancing and was just lying on the bed starkers. Oh why, oh why didn’t they report what kind of dance he was doing, so I could get the full picture in my head? Now all I see is a naked man dancing like Ellen .
I get no kick from champagne
Mere alcohol doesn’t thrill me at all
So tell me why should it be true
That I get a kick out of painting my gates in the dark , naked?
A 76 year old pensioner in Cumbria has had to plonk his name on a sex offenders register after he got caught varnishing his back gates at night while naked. Yeah OK, he’s had 8 other convictions and admits he gets sexual gratification from being nude but he’s adamant that he doesn’t get turned on from being seen by others. Now the poor guy isn’t allowed to appear in a public place naked or wearing less than one garment of clothing except unless he’s in need of a medical examination.