Tag Archives: NASA

Calm Before The Storm

What the hell was that?

OK loons, no need to panic but what’s up with the latest solar eruption?  A recent  solar flare has just messed with China’s radio communications and NASA are warning there’s more to come. Seems Earth is due for a geomagnetic  storm which is expected wreak havoc on our high tech infrastructure and this little flare is a warm up of things yet to come. So what the hell is a solar storm? It’s when weather in space causes a a temporary disturbance to the Earth’s magnetosphere. The last time we had a big solar storm was in 1921 and it caused global chaos, wiping out telegraph wires and this time they expect it to wipe out the internet too. Bye-bye satellites and electrical power grids. Scientists are predicting the storm will hit Earth in 2012 .Oooh goodie, I just hope it isn’t on the 21st December because the Mayans have already penciled that date in on their calendars.

Psst Does that mean I will have to Morse code my friggin blog posts?

16 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

Volunteers For Mars

Howdy!

OK loons, want to go to Mars? Hmm, just one slight catch, it’s a one way trip. Yep, you ain’t never coming back because basically NASA are on a budget and it’s way too expensive to fly you back and friggin fro. The project is being headed by Pete Worden (who runs one of NASA’s top research centers). Volunteers will be expected to establish a colony on Mars and eventually become self sufficient.So are you in?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Those Friggin Aliens!

Hi, just messing with ya!

OK, no need to panic but WTF, remember NASA’s Voyager 2, the unmanned probe that was blasted off into space 33 years ago? No? Well anywho, the damn thing has begun transmitting bizarre, unintelligible signals according to German UFO expert Hartwig Hausdorf. Mr Hausdorf believes aliens have hijacked the probe which is now located near the edge of the solar system. Hmm, maybe they are just sick and tired of hearing a loop of 70’s music and greetings in 55 different languages so are sending us back some of our own medicine? Oh and NASA’s spin on the thing….  it’s a glitch in the computer memory….. but we know better than to believe them, now don’t we loons!

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Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Scary, Join the skeptic club!, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Everybody Duck!

Dumbasses

Can the owner of the car with a multi million dollar space balloon splattered over it please come to the front counter. A NASA space balloon has come to an embarrassing end after it crashed through a fence and onto a car (tipping it over) shortly after taking off in Alice Springs. The balloon and it’s payload are now scattered into a thousand pieces (well, there goes the duct tape suggestion) after springing a leak 26,000m up.No one was injured (except for pride).

Psst Geez, I hope there was nothing important in it ! Another tax right-off!

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Filed under How Embarrassing, Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Space Trip

Dude, where's my space shuttle?

Houston we have a problem. OK, can the astronaut who left his bag of cocaine at the NASA shuttle processing facility come to the main building, we would like to have a quiet word.Yeah, yeah, OK, it is very unlikely the drugs belonged to an astronaut but someone in Cape Canaveral has a little explaining to do. Despite all staff being tested they haven’t found the culprit nor evidence to suggest any worker was under the influence while tinkering with the space shuttle Discovery. Whew, would hate to have any more loose ceramic tiles fall off.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Russia To The Rescue

The sky is falling!

Yes, Russia maybe the only ones that can save the world from a asteroid hurtling to earth. No, this isn’t some scene from a disaster movie but a claim made by Russia’s space agency. Called mission Apophis the agency are concerned about the threat of a 885ft  rock estimated to hit earth  in 2029. Despite NASA dissing the threat, Russia are pushing the panic button and are brainstorming ideas to save the world.  One of the suggestions is building a special spacecraft and blowing the damn thing off course. Hmm, me thinks someone has been watching Armageddon.

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Filed under Denial, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Space Junk On Collison Course With Space Station

Most excitement we've had up here in ages!

Holy flying space junk Batman. Duck astronauts, a piece of space junk is heading your way. NASA are friggin freaking over a piece of space debris heading straight towards the International Space Station. The two man crew are unaware of the imminent danger just yet but at 10 am they sure will be, because that is the time NASA intends to tell them to get the hell into the friggin Soyuz escape pod. Possible projected impact time is around 1.17pm so that will give them a good 3 hours to panic! Ah I know what you are thinking, move the friggin space station, hmm, they already thought of that but it is all too late! I bet the three astronauts who came back down to earth on Tuesday are thanking their lucky stars they aren’t still up there.

Psst The junk is believed to be  from a Russian satellite that collided with a U.S. satellite on Feb 10.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Largest Asteroid Explosion Ever Observed

Did anyone happen to hear a loud bang on 8th of October by any chance? Hmm, well if you did, it was probably the big friggin asteroid that exploded over Sulawesi in Indonesia. Come on people you must have heard something, it was equivalent to 50,000 tons of TNT!. The scary part is no one, not even NASA saw it was coming! Hmm, considering it was the largest asteroid explosion ever observed, you would have thought someone would have said “WTF is that?”. Nope, a 10m planetoid comes hurtling down upon us , explodes 15km above our heads, with a force more powerful than three Hiroshima bombs and not so much as boo out of NASA. Everyone friggin panic!

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Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Scary, Thanks For Nothing

North Korea On Fire

That's one hell of a BBQ Kimmy!

That's one hell of a BBQ Kimmy!

WTF. Is Kimmy Jong Il OK? NASA are freaking out after satellite images show North Korea on friggin fire! Say it ain’t so! Huge plumes of smoke can be seen very clearly billowing across the northeast of the country. Everyone panic. Hmm, maybe Kim Jong Il is simply having a BBQ. The plume can be seen wafting across the Sea of Japan.Rumors around South Korea’s gossip mill say the fires could have been deliberately lit to reclaim farmland.

Psst Oh for goodness sakes please don’t let it be the friggin Pyongy breweries, I have a case of 75% on order for Chrissy!

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Filed under Friggin Kim Jong Il, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

NASA Official Confirms It’s Not Made of Cheese

Water only ever brought us pain!

Water only ever brought us pain!

Hey NASA dudes, when you got a little bit of spare time, you wouldn’t mind shooting a few of those rockets into Australia and Africa to see if they have water too, thanks. NASA just spent $79 million bucks to shoot a rocket into a crater on the moon to see if there is any evidence of water. Like, didn’t India just tell them that there was water under them there moon rocks! And besides wouldn’t it be easier and cheaper to just ask one of those aliens they have holed up in Area 51? Anywho, it seems some of us weren’t very happy about NASA shooting a 2.2 tonne rocket into Cabeus, which is was one of the moon’s craters. After a flood of complaints from furious and worried public to NASA here is what topped the concerns ….it would disrupt tidal movements, mess with women’s menstrual cycles and leave a pig sty worth of space junk for someone else to clean up.

Psst Geez, now if Kim Jong Il bombed the moon he’d have hell to pay! Lucky he is only planning to bring it to North Korea.

2nd Psst If they do find evidence of water does this mean we could possibly go fishing up there?

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Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !