Tag Archives: Nebraska

Hope It Wasn’t Multigrain

Attention Nebraskian men, if you are going to push your wife on the bed and rub a sandwich in her face , that’s a five day jailing right there. Evidently he was pissed at her for making him live in the country. No word on what kind of sandwich it was.

7 Comments

Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !

Craps!

OK, here’s the thing drunk Oregon man, going into an Nebraska police station and asking for blackjack chips is one thing but coming back again, that’s a night in the cell!!! The 21 year old, who registered three times over the state’s legal limit, was so blottoed he kept thinking the station was a casino. In the end they threw him into a cell to sober him up but he wasn’t charged. Guess the chips were down!

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Whoops!

We Have a Winner

Ewh!

Good news loons, Jason Orr won the dried bison manure tossing competition in front of Dawes County courthouse in Nebraska. The bad news, he only chucked the shit  168ft in the air, missing the official record by 19ft. Bummer.

Want sauce with that?

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Nuke Plant Woes

Attention people living near the Fort Calhoun Nuclear Station in Nebraska, you might want to skedaddle for awhile. News is, the wall keeping the Missouri River floodwaters back has collapsed and well….run!!!!

Want sauce with that?

2 Comments

Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Everyone’s A Friggin Critic

Oh dear god, locals near the Iowa/Nebraska border are still friggin bitching about the new $3 million public art installation “Odyssey” on the 24th Street interchange on Interstate Highway 29/80. Motorists are complaining the Freddy Kruger hands are  so terrifyingly distracting they are finding it hard to concentrate (yep, there has been some rear ending!), thus the nickname “Nightmare on 24th Street”.  The abstract work by renowned international sculptor Albert Paley has also been described as “Edward Scissorbridge”, “Gateway to Disaster” and a ” pile of junk”. Any thoughts …

8 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Get A Friggin Dog

It just goes to show no matter how much you think your 9ft red-tailed boa loves you they are still wild animals. Nebraskan man Corey Byrne was playing with his pet snake when he placed it around his shoulders and it suddenly wrapped itself around his neck, strangling him. Sadly, by the time a rescue crew arrived he was no longer breathing and was pronounced dead a short time later.

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife

Shithead

Winner of the most ingenious way to rob a convenience store goes to the Nebraskan dude who wrapped his head in toilet paper. The man, armed with a knife and 2 ply, escaped with an undisclosed amount of money.

1 Comment

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious

How To Steal A New Car

Hey, psst, here is a novel way to steal a new car. Go to a Nebraska dealership, take a pickup for a test drive, stop off and get a copy of the key made and then return it. Then, under the cover of darkness, go back to the dealership and steal the car. Friggin easy. Oh as long as the dealership owner doesn’t have your address and decide to check if you are the thief. Then that’s an epic fail and you’ll end up on Friggin Loon where we will poke fun at you, loser!

10 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

101 Uses For Duct Tape

Useful!

WTF, a woman in Beatrice, Nebraska has been arrested on child abuse charges after she duct taped, yes duct taped, her 22 month baby to a wall. Jayla Hamm (17) also used a digital camera to take photos of the screaming child as he was being taped to it. Hmm, nice for the awkward family photo album. Ms Hamm also told police she often put the child in an unlit coat closet .

26 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !

Sure, The Plan Could Have Worked!

Man steals painting to pay for abortion for the girl he rapedAurelio Vallerillo-Sanchez is in a lot of trouble. Not only is he accused of raping a 14 year old girl, he is also accused of stealing a 300 year old painting of the Virgin Mary to fund the girl’s abortion.  Oh yeah, when Aurelio discovered the girl was pregnant he devised a plan to steal the painting and take the girl to Mexico.  Hmm, it would have worked had he not got caught ! Aurelio from Nebraska has pleaded no contest and is staring down the barrel of a 70 year jail sentence (hmm, had he married her he still would have got a life sentence!).

Psst The girl eventually had the baby.

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Dumbass, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never