Tag Archives: Netherlands

It Was Always Only Going to be a Matter of Time

The little Dutch town of Jelsum, that installed the world’s first musical road, want it removed.  Yep, messing with their heads. The tune is played when cars drive over the strategically placed strips on the side of the road. Their song of choice was the anthem of Friesland. The locals are now bitching that the song is constantly playing day and night.

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Filed under Sore Loser, Well I Never

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty

It didn’t take long for this feline to discover there were kitty drugs in this Netherlands pet supply store. When staff went to the catnip aisle they found a random cat writhing in ecstasy over their toys. Well played kitty. The embarrassed owner eventually carted the drugged up puss home.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Too Easy

Hmm, how do police discover an illegal marijuana farm growing in a housing estate in the Netherlands during winter?

marijuana

 

Note to owners, don’t direct the lamps at the roof.

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Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Where Did They Go?

Netherlands closing 8 prisons due to lack of criminalsEither the justice system in  the Netherlands really sucks or the Dutch are just a bunch of law abiding citizens because they just closed 8 prisons due to lack of criminals. Hmm, that’s because they are  all smoking weed at the local cafes.

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Filed under Uncategorized

Honey, He Said Only To WEE In The Shower!!!!

Dutch official recommends peeing in showerA Dutch government official has suggested if people want to save money on their water bills they should pee in the shower. Yes, Bert Wassink who is a regular shower pisser  says “If you combine showers and peeing, you save a lot of water and money, so why not?”

Psst Might want to avoid going swimming in his pool!!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Who Let The Gingers Out?

Ranga day in the Netherlands sees over 5,000 redheads gather in Breda. Unfortunately only 1,255 were actually natural gingers.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Divorce Hotel

Is that room service?

Want a amicable  divorce , go to the Netherlands. An entrepreneur has set up a chain of divorce hotels, where you can rid yourself of your spouse in luxury. Separate rooms of course. The hotel offers a set of divorce papers in your hands within three days and also provides lawyers, mediators and psychologists.That mini bar better be stocked!!!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

Mercy!

While the rest of the world squirm at the very thought of simply legalizing euthanasia, the Dutch are already launching mobile euthanasia teams who will come to your house to carry out the  deed. Evidently there are 3,100 mercy killings carried out each year in the Netherlands and around 1,000 assisted suicides requests. Sheez, busy!

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Exploding Clocks at IKEA

Talk about a big bang theory, someone  planted small explosives in several IKEA alarm clocks in Belgium, Netherlands and French stores AND they all went kaboom simultaneously. The booby trapped alarm clocks had small firework type devices inside them and they all went off during opening time, scaring the crap out of customers and staff.  Sheez, that would be right, they’d have to blow up the only friggin thing that you don’t have to friggin assemble!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

You Scratch ‘n’ Sniff It You Idiot!

Man, I shouldn't have smoked that!

You have gotta love the Dutch authorities, they have just handed out 30,000 scratch ‘n’ sniff cards with a marijuana scent to The Hague and Rotterdam residents to help them  recognize the smell so they can dob in a dope dealer. Blahahaha hello, what Dutch citizen doesn’t know THAT smell for goodness sakes? Evidently, since it’s legal in the Netherlands to be in the possession of under 5 grams of cannabis, authorities have pretty much ignored the whole marijuana growing issue. Until now. Seems while their backs were turned people have been growing friggin plantations in their apartments. It is estimated that the “green gold” market is now worth $2.8 billion annually. Sheez, wouldn’t that be handy revenue for Schwarzenegger. So anywho, for those Dutch citizens unfamiliar with the smell you can now scratch (just to be sure) before ringing the police number on the card.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never