Tag Archives: New York City

Hillary or Bust

What happens when someone erects a naked statue of Hillary Clinton in New York City? Can’t be unseen.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Crime Doesn’t Always Pay

mousetrapOMG you fool, give it up. A guy spent the day robbing five different banks and ended up with $449. Bwahahaha of the five, three gave him zip, nada, nothing. Dude!!!! Could it be because he was wearing a Cincinnati Reds cap …just saying! Police are still on the look out for him.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

Loon Is In The Lounge

Ok for 18 hours I will be in the air. Sydney-LA- NYC . So behave loons while I am flapping around. Currently lounging in the Qantas lounge ….

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Filed under Friggin Awesome

Who Didn’t See This Coming?

First bike stolen in New York bike share programNew York City are about to launch a bike-share program and they have already had the first bike stolen.

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Filed under Whoops!

Kosher Bagel Shop Bought By Muslim Men

Settle Loons, this is a feel good story. The Coney Island Bialys and Bagels store , the oldest bialy bakery in New York City, was facing closure due to hard eonomic times. Enter Zafaryab Ali and Peerzada Shah, two Pakistani Muslims. Ali, who had previously worked there for 11 years and his friend Shah bought the place and have been continuing the old fashion Jewish tradition ever since. Steve Ross, the grandson of the original owner, who sold the bakery to the men, is constantly on hand to help out. Ali and Shah use the same ingredients and traditional baking methods as the previous owners to keep everything kosher.  Ali says, “Kosher and halal is very, very close, like brother and sister, maybe twins.” See Loons, a feel good story.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Police Arrest New York Bombing Suspect

Hmm, I guess we will be hearing the name Jose Pimentel a lot more less in the coming months, years, decades after he was was charged with conspiring to commit an act of terrorism in New York yesterday. The dude was planning to pipe bomb police and post offices in New York City with his homemade devices made from ingredients bought at Home Depot hardware stores. The nutter has been on the NYPD watch list since 2009 but it was only after the death of radical cleric Anwar al-Awlaki early this year that real concerns grew.  Pimentel was planning to change his name to Osama Hussein in honor of his two heroes, Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. Hmm, like that wouldn’t make him stick out like a sore thumb! I hope he likes orange!

Psst Hmm, why the hell did he want to bomb friggin post offices, they’re full of postal workers?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Starbucks And The Sound Of One Hand Clapping

Oh for crying out loud Mister PeePee, masturbating in every New York City Starbucks is no way to go through life. The mystery man has been tweeting his progress is ranking every Starbuck toilet in the city by “boners”! The bathrooms lose points if they are unclean or he gets interrupted. I hope Mister PeePee  doesn’t get calluses , there are 298 Starbucks in the Big Apple.

Psst I checked his Twitter account he only has 60 followers!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Serial Killer Alert

No need to panic people of New York, but you may just have a serial killer lurking about. Body number 6,7 and 8 have just been discovered on a remote beach near New York City. Police fear the murderer is selecting his victims from “personal” ads on internet sites like Craigslist (the serial killer site of choice!). All are believed to be prostitutes. The first set of fives bodies were discovered in December 2010 after police scoured the area looking for missing sex worker Shannon Gilbert. She was thought to have been in the area to meet a client but the alarm was raised after a woman, fitting her description, came to the door of a house in a gated community begging for help but fled when the occupant tried to ring police. A short time later a man drove past the house asking about the woman but then sped off. None of the bodies found have been identified as Shannon Gilbert.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Start Spreading The News

Guess which New York City class sold out in 4 hours? Ah, why do I bother, you’ll never guess right anyways. It was the gallery taxidermy class where you dress up dead mice to look like humans. If you’ve seen the film “Dinner for Schmucks” you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. It was once a hugely popular Victorian society pastime but has suddenly burst back from obscurity. The classes cost $45 and for that you get a frozen mouse which you get to syringe out the blood, scrape out the entrails, remove the bones and then dip in chemicals. The fun part is using wire to set the rodent’s pose and then dress it up. Anywho, due to the quick sell out, three more classes have been added. Sheez, they should think of using rats, there is an unlimited supply of them in New York.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !

Calling Sandra Bullock To Times Square

After years of homeless people pulling up pavement in Times Square, social workers say they are down to only one now. Known as Heavy, he is officially the last of the homeless people left in New York City’s famous entertainment district.Despite offers of housing, Heavy refuses to leave the streets he has known for decades. Locals have grown accustom to him and say he is part of the landscape. There is always someone willing to slip him money or clothing despite keeping a low profile in the city that never sleeps. He ain’t Heavy, he’s our brother.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !