Tag Archives: nigeria

Anything Including Nigeria Is a Friggin Warning Sign

Kidnapped? Don't panic sweetie I'll contact Interpol!

Oh for crying out loud, how many times do I have to tell you, stop sending money to your online girlfriend, she doesn’t friggin exist! A Naperville man is in disbelief after having sent his online girlfriend around $200,000 (over 2 and a half years) to her …wait for it….bank accounts in Nigeria, Malaysia, England and the United States. Oh hello…NIGERIA!!!!!  Hint, hint!!!! The whole ruse was uncovered when he contacted police asking for help to rescue her after she had been kidnapped in London. Oh boy, the police  eventually had to break the bad news to him … hey mate,  she doesn’t exist anymore and neither does you money. Sheez, a Russian bride would have been cheaper!

Psst Oh yeah, and that photo you have of her, chuck it, it’s from a friggin sample driver’s license from Florida.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Double Trouble

A family that drug smuggles together gets arrested together. A mother and her two six year old twins have been caught at a Nigerian airport with cocaine stuffed down their undies. The hubby on the other hand was found to have no drugs in his possession. Ah what the heck, he was charged with drug smuggling too. Luckily for the twins they were released into the care of family members because authorities believed they weren’t really involved…just mules!.

Psst Good lord, to think someone may have sniffed that up their nostril after being so close to someone’s butt!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Where’s Friggin Cupid?

Man covered in hair cant get a girlfriendOkeke Ikechukwu from Nigeria has a really bad stutter. So bad in fact, he has announced he’s going to marry his pillow. Yes, that’s right people, Okeke is going to marry the one thing that loves him for who he is, his friggin pillow. Sick and tired of getting dissed by women the moment they hear his stammer, he sort comfort with his sleeping accessory. Okeke says “I have needs, and so I have taken to sleeping with my pillow in my arms ever since I was 16. I have grown to fall in love with it, and I intend to spend the rest of my life with it.” But Okeke, what happens when it gets old, flat and you can no longer stand the sight of it…hang on that’s like a normal marriage..ah just go for it.
Hmm, now people, way over in China another man is having girl troubles of a different kind.  Yep, I can see where it might be a problem! Poor Xiao Song is having trouble finding himself a girlfriend because his birthmarks have began sprouting hair so thick and course they even penetrate his t-shirts. Song’s back and half his front are covered in the thick dark hair and once he reveals this to potential dates they are no longer interested. His last girlfriend didn’t have a problem with all the hair but her parents totally freaked, worried his condition would be passed on to their children .Hmm, well lucky for their one child policy!

Psst Hey Song, thought of trying your luck in Greece?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Not The “N” Word

Do we care?

Do we care?

Say it isn’t so. What do you get when Russian energy giant Gazprom and a Nigerian gas company join forces? Hmm…. Nigaz. Think about it people! WTF were they thinking? Last week Russian President Dmitry Medvedev and his Nigerian counterpart Umaru Yar’Adua agreed to a $2.5 billion international venture to build refineries and gas power stations in Nigeria….all they had to do was come up with a friggin name. Anywho, someone suggested combining  Nigeria and Gazprom and viola the rest is racist history… Nigaz. Priceless. I sure hope the good people of Nigeria have a sense of humor because be damned they’d have it in America!

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Loon Award, Friggin loon Nominee, Friggin Wrong, Thanks For Nothing