Tag Archives: no sex

Better Late Than Never

Nawww, a married couple who have never had sex because they are too fat are going on a diet so they can have kids. They have been married since 2010.

fat couple

 

3 Comments

Filed under Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Massachu-sex

soldier

NO, stop that right now!!!

If you are contemplating a divorce in Massachusetts just remember you can’t have sex with your spouse until all the paperwork is finalized. Hmm, well that is what a new bill is proposing. Hmm, so there goes the make up sex then! I sense some eye rolling Loons, well here it is …

Bill 787:

“In divorce, separation, or 209A proceedings involving children and a marital home, the party remaining in the home shall not conduct a dating or sexual relationship within the home until a divorce is final and all financial and custody issues are resolved, unless the express permission is granted by the courts.”

OMG, you need sex permission from the courts…. now thats just awkward.

PSST I wonder what the punishment is? Come on Loons I am sure you can think of some.

7 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

French Sexual Needs Fail

Jean-Louis B is not only wifeless but is now out of pocket $14,000. Seems his ex wife has successfully sued him for failing to fulfill her sexual needs…for 21 friggin years! Hmm, compo for not putting out, how interesting!!! Poor Jean-Louis (51) told the French judge he was often tired and had health problems…..since he was 30?????? The frustrated 47 year old wife finally called the marriage quits and the judge backed up her argument that it was all Jean Louis’s fault!

Psst You watch, I bet old jean-Louis B will be on eHarmony within a week!

7 Comments

Filed under Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Not Tonight Honey I Have a Headache

Maybe I should wear make-up?

Let this be a warning to you boys, an Emirati  man is being sued by his wife for $11 million for failing to have sex with her and thus causing her mental anguish. Did you hear me? $11 million! Seems hubby failed to put out for the first four months of marriage to hide his erectile dysfunction issue (poor love). Hmm, now the miffed wife wants payment for her troubles and his failure to meet her needs. Sheez, good luck with that lady, considering how Arab men just love outspoken women.

7 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

How Boring

Sheez, the most disappointing myth bust I have heard all year. Russians did not, have not and probably will never have sex in space. What the hell have they been doing up there all this time then? Hmm , I guess it’s probably a bitch getting in and out of those space suits! Boy, am I glad I didn’t become an astronaut! Come on guys, at least  no one would hear you!!!!!!

3 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

No You Can’t Have Sex

OMG, a 41 year old man, only known as Alan, has been banned by a judge from having sex…forever, despite having been living with his boyfriend. Seems having an IQ of 48 and a “vigorous sex drive” is inappropriate. Sheez, even slugs are allowed to have sex and their IQ ain’t nothing to write home about.Anywho, the local council who supply him accommodation started the legal action against his relationship because they believed he didn’t understand what he was doing. A psychiatrist involved allegedly prevented Alan from having sex ed lessons because he believe it would just “confuse” him. In handing down the order the judge said “Alan does not have the capacity to consent to and engage in sexual relations.In such circumstances it is agreed that the present regime for Alan’s supervision and for the prevention of future sexual activity is in his best interests.”

Want sauce with that?

7 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Nanny State, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

The Best Excuse Ever For Not Having Sex

According to Lady Gaga she abstains from sex because…wait for it…“I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone, they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina,” Sheez, so that’s where I’m going wrong !!!

Psst And here I was thinking she didn’t even have one!

9 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Like A Virgin

Hello, is this the sex line?

French postal worker Phillippe Cousin has been sentenced to 18 years prison for decapitating his wife Nicole. The Problem it seems was they were married for 21 years but his wife was still a virgin. She refused point blankly to have sex with him because she feared passing on multiple sclerosis to her children (if she had any) because her father suffered from it. Mr Cousin for his part stayed loyal but downright frustrated. Lawyers believe his actions were a direct result of a “midlife crisis”. During a fight with his wife, she threatened to leave him so he grabbed a kitchen knife and hacked off her head.

Psst Note his sentence was less than his marriage.

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never