Poor Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il, has quite an important decision to make regarding his country’s future, bless. As he is not getting any
older younger there is great media speculation in North Korea that he is finally making a decision as to which son will be his successor. OK, here is the line up people , eldest son Kim Jong Nam (38), middle son Kim Jong Chul(29) or baby of the bunch Kim Jong Un (26).Decisions, decisions what is a dictator to do? Here is a little low down on the boys:
Dear Eldest: Disneyland loving dude, prone to using a fake passport and getting arrested in Japan, usually seen in downtown Tokyo with prostitutes unbeknown to his wife and mistress.He is presently living in Macau, too scared to go home and face daddy.
Dear Middle: Hmm, Jong Chul/Chol who is said to be “suffering from an excess of female hormones” . Is that North Korean for gay? (not that there is anything wrong with that!). Jong Chol is Swiss educated but considered far too “girlish” to become leader.Rumor has it he is chronically ill anyways.
Dear Youngest : Well, Kim Jong Un is the apple dumpling noodle of his daddy’s eye and was marked as the fav to get the nod, basically because he is exactly like his father. Oh, so he is a lying, good for nothing dictator! Did I say that ? My bad!
Whoa, but before you come to any conclusions the North Korean news outlets are now reporting Dear Son #2 may get the nod instead of Jong Un. Hmm, I wonder if Kim Jong Il’s change of heart is a direct result of him being a huge fan of American Idol ? I’m just saying! Hmm, black president…gay dictator? Who knew?
AND THE WINNER IS ? Well, after much speculation it’s official Dear Youngest has been announced the successor. So much for Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!