There is only two ways this is going to pan out and neither one is going to end well. Kim Jong Un has successfully shot a ballistic missile into the Sea of Japan proving he has the capabilities to kaboom whoever the hell he wants. His father’s attempts gave the world hope that it wouldn’t come to this but unfortunately times have changed. Your move Trump.
Tag Archives: north korea
Hey Kim Jong Un, what’s up with popping those missiles over Japan? You know damn well the UN is going to send you a harshly worded letter… AGAIN. I suggest the world retaliates by dropping millions and millions of junk food parcels into Pyongyang. Imagine how pissed the North Koreans will be with Kim Jong Un when they realise they have been hangry all these years. Just keep dropping chocolate, gummy bears, Mars bars, cookies, Starbucks (luke warm of course)…goddam everything, the sugar rush alone is enough to cause an overthrow.
Oh dear, seems you don’t have to be related to Kim Jong Un to get on his bad side. Five senior officials have been executed, via anti aircraft guns, for sending the North Korean leader false reports. Kinda damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
A word of warning to all top officials, if you doze off during a Kim Jong Un meeting expect to be kaboomed with an anti aircraft gun. Just ask, oh wait, never mind. The head of the education ministry was spotted sleeping during a rant by the ‘glorious leader’ and promptly escorted out and executed with a high end military weapon. Nothing but the best for sleeping, lowlife, dissident, scum dog.
Kim Jong Un, you are a legend. Seems our irratic little North Korean dictator has invented an alcoholic drink that won’t give you a hangover. Introducing Koryo, a miracle 86% proof spirit distilled from rice wine and fermented ginseng root. Despite not a soul ever having heard of it North Korea claims Koryo Liquor ‘has raked high among the world famous liquor and enjoys a good reputation with discerning drinkers.’ Bottoms up.
No need to panic loons, but Kim Jong Un just kaboomed a hydrogen bomb. WTF. Seems our cray cray North Korean control freak has H bombed, causing an “artificial earthquake”. Just as South Korea were going WTF was that on the Richter scale, North Korea announced their test was successful. Hmm, I’m guessing the UN will be writing a strongly worded letter
Oo Oh, don’t mess with the US, Pongyang, or your internet might go poof!!!North Korea is currently suffering major internet outages following their hacking of Sony and Obamas threat to respond. OMG, I hope Kim Jong Un doesn’t have to restart Candy Crush, that would be a bitch. This may be the start of cyber attack wars. Dear lord, can you back up Flappy Bird?
Kim Jong Un has solved the problem of having an empty seat at next year’s Christmas table after he bumped off his uncle. Yep, in an impressive move he has had the entire family of Jang Song Thaek executed and, by entire family , I mean Jang’s sister (her hubby, Ambassador to Cuba), her nephew, her nephew’s two sons, Jang’s two brothers and their sons, daughters and even grandchildren. Un evidently wants no evidence that the family ever existed. Roger that.
Calm down everyone, Kim Jong Um hasn’t had his missus executed for not standing up fast enough. The very obedient wife Ri, who has been AWOL for the past few weeks, appeared on his arm yesterday for a parade to honour the second anniversary of his dead dad Kim Jong Il. Kim Jong Um has been getting some global flack after executing his uncle last week. See, he isn’t a complete bastard.
Christmas is going to be a tad awkward at the Jong Un household this year after he erradicated his wayward uncle. And by eradicated I mean executed. Jang Song Thaek
is was the second most powerful man in North Korea until he did something real naughty because Kim Jong Un declared him “worse than a dog” and claimed he had “committed such hideous crime as attempting to overthrow the state by all sorts of intrigues and despicable methods with a wild ambition to grab the supreme power of our party and state.” Ouch!