Beware of a Hole in One

Someone in Norway is pooping in the holes at the Stavanger golf course. And by someone the groundskeeper thinks it is a man “because the poos are too massive to be from a woman.” Hmm, no shit Sherlock. He also said the pooping had been an ongoing problem since 2005 and the pooper has some favourite holes he likes to deposit in. The club claims the pooper rides his bike to the holes during the week, not weekends. They even installed high powered spotlights to deter him but he climbed the tree and dismantled them. Oh a more brighter note the culprit is also using toilet paper.

Spellcheck Fail on Monument

The designer of a Norwegian war monument, unveiled in November, has blamed her English spellcheck program for the bucketful of typos and grammatical errors that riddle the plaque. The designer added “some of the other errors are simply examples of artistic expression”. Yikes, on a wartime resistance fighters monument? Really?

Want sauce with that?

This Was A Baaaaaaaa Idea

Remember a few weeks back I mentioned that a group of Norwegian knitters were going to attempt to break the world “sheep to sweater” record? Yeah, well, they failed. Seems the 8 hours and 33 minutes of shearing and non-stop knitting was no match for the Aussie’s,  who hold the record of 4 hours, 51 minutes. The event was televised lived on Norweigan TV. Hmm, and next week they will be televising paint drying.

Moosed Again

Steady, aim, fir….. oh crap. A hunter in Norway is in big doodah after he shot at a moose and missed, instead hitting an elderly guy sitting on the toilet in his bathroom. The rifle was fired just 100 yards from the man’s cottage.

Fondue

You should take some crackers

A tunnel in Norway has been closed after a truck carrying nearly 30 tons of caramelized  brown goat cheese caught alight. So far the fire has been burning for 5 days. Hello scientists, can’t you turn goat cheese into fuel? The tunnel is expected to remain closed for several weeks.

Don’t Try This at Home

Egads, this Norwegian  dude actually survived, after the high bar he was somersaulting on collapsed and he was flung over the 1200m cliff  just missing the rock face. Lucky he had a parachute and a documentary team to capture it all.

Bears With Sore Heads

A Norwegian mother bear and her three cubs broke into a cabin and got wasted on 100 cans of beer before trashing the place. The party ended after they smashed the beds, oven, cupboards, shelves and kitchen appliances.

Psst Hang on just a minute, the owners say the bears also ate all their  marshmallows, honey and chocolate spread …. FRAZ!!!!!!!

Another Red Herring?

Oo Oh!

Oh dear, 2012 has not got off to a good start. Twenty tonnes of dead herring have just washed up on a beach in Norway. Hmm, could this be the start of the animal apocalypse? Hmm, and I thought something was rotten in Denmark!

Are You Insane?

Cuckoo!!!

The lacoste wearing Norweigian serial killer who is Anders Behring Breivik has been deemed ….. wait for it …. mentally insane. Seriously? Seems his bomb attack and then murder spree, which left 77 people dead and 151 injured, was triggered by paranoid schizophrenia. So that means no prison for him, just a psychiatric hospital. Oh goodie, so he will have an unblemished record when he’s released.

You WANT What?

Not only does alleged mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik want to plead “not guilty” he also wants to wear a “uniform” during a “public” hearing so he can tell his side of the story about why he cold bloodedly killed innocent human beings. Dude, I don’t think you have the right to request anything!