Tag Archives: nun

Surprise, It’s A Boy

Nun3A nun in Italy got a surprise little Chrissie present when she gave birth to a baby boy. The poor thing didn’t even know she was pregnant (obviously thought she was just getting fat) but when she was taken to hospital with stomach pains it was revealed she was about to have a baby. The little boy was named Francis after the Pope but that hasn’t helped her from getting the boot from her convent. Pack your bags honey, you broke the chastity vow. Seems Mother Superior is rather miffed that the nun couldn’t resist temptation claiming the wayward soul got jiggy with it when she returned to El Salvador to visit her family. The local community have been passing around the collection bowl for the new family.

Psst At least they didn’t use the immaculate conception excuse.

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Holy Spirits

A nun has been caught on CCTV stealing beer. Hmm, now that’s a bad habit.  Dear god, where did she put the beer, it must be cold?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

This Better Be A Saint Mister!

What do we have here?

Oh my lord, a monk has been detained in Greece after a dead nun was found in his luggage. OK, “skeletal remains”, but she was definitely dead. The monk claims he was just transferring her bones to a monastery in Cyprus because she was a saint. However it was later discovered that the nun had died about 4 years ago and was not recognized as a saint. Hmm, awkward. Despite the raised eyebrows, the monk has been released and charged with theft and desecrating the dead. Oh and suspended from his monk duties for three months.

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Dead Nun In A Tool Shed

OK Loons you might want to whack on your deerstalkers, the body of a nun has been found in a tool shed at a Buddhist temple in California. Police say no one filed a  missing persons report because they all  thought she had simply left, despite the fact all her personal belongings were still at the temple. It is believed the nun has been missing since May. Hmm, maybe she was tinkering with someone something ?

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That Ain’t No Nun

OK people in Little Italy , New York, that nun you’ve seen every day for a friggin decade. You know the one? Sister Milindia, the Episcopal sister with the metal cup begging for donations for  the poor orphan children of St. Joseph’s. Yeah, her. Well, she ain’t no nun. Every day at quitting time she catches the train, lights up a cig, disrobes in street near Linden Boulevard and becomes Mindy LeGrand, a phony nun who belongs to a church founded by a killer rapist.So no, that money you put in the tin ain’t going friggin anywhere, except in her pocket.

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Nun On The Run

A Dutch nun has high tailed it out of Denmark after police began probing the death of an elderly nun. It is believed in 1993 Mother Theresa Brenninkmeijer ordered an elderly nun to be locked out in the cold with inadequate clothing because she had disturbed mass. The nun died. Mother Theresa Brenninkmeijer, who reputedly had a reputation for abusing nuns at the convent in Sostrup, Denmark, is now a marked woman. Despite the death happening over 17 years ago, making it too late to prosecute her, the Danish police are/were hoping the Catholic church would assist in the investigation. Blahahaha fat chance of that! Hello, the Vatican had received numerous complaints about her abuse over the years and had done zip about it.

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Is John Paul’s Sainthood in Jeopardy?

Oh boy, the miracle that supposedly fast tracked pope John Paul II’s canonization has hit a little bit of a stumbling block. The nun who was allegedly cured of Parkinson’s disease after writing his name on a piece of paper is sick again. Sister Marie Simon-Pierre was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 2007 but claimed it suddenly vanished after writing his name. Awkward. Hmm, no word yet from the Vatican on whether this will affect John Paul’s beatification (one of the steps to becoming a saint)  planned for October.

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Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!