And in friggin Ohio, home of Bearman, a man has been arrested for smashing an urn of ashes over the head of another bloke causing a “cloud” of human dust. Police had to taser the dude before arresting him. No word on who was in the urn.
Tag Archives: Ohio
A judge in Cleveland has ordered a woman, who was caught on camera driving up a sidewalk to avoid waiting behind a school bus, to stand at an intersection for two days wearing a a sign saying “Only an idiot drives on the sidewalk to avoid a school bus.”. Hmm, so I wonder how many drivers will be distracted by that? Yep, this could only happen in Friggin Ohio, home of Bearman. Yes, Bearman and Bill, I know, Ohio is the State that will determine the next US President!!!!!
It has been nearly a week but I have finally found a dumbass story from friggin Ohio, home of Bearman. When a suspicious aluminum rod with the word “Kaboom” was found in the Akron City Hall building, everyone made a mad dash for the exits. Turns out the suspicious item was a an expandable shower rod used as a walking stick by none other than a man who’s surname is Kaboom.
The new 50ft “Touchdown” Jesus statue got wedged in a McDonald’s drive thru in Wapakoneta on its way to the church in Monroe. Seems the outstretched arm of Jesus came into contact with the Ronald McDonald statue and became lodged between the drive thru window and McDonaldland Playland. One of the staff told reporters “It was the loudest, craziest, most disturbing thing I have ever seen,” ….“One minute I’m typing an order into the computer, the next minute there is a thunderous noise, the building shakes, and the face of Jesus is pressed staring at me through my drive thru window. I’m going to have nightmares.” Meanwhile the red faced driver said he was convinced he could get his truck around the tight turns to get his fries. Authorities are yet to work out how they are going to get Jesus unstuck. Hmm, the original Touchdown Jesus was struck by lightning and now this one has been McScrewed. Kinda makes you think Jesus doesn’t like football.
Psst Friggin Ohio, the home of Bearman.
At ease everyone the “Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup” bandit has finally been caught. The elusive sweet tooth had been raiding convenience stores around Ohio for the past 6 months grabbing an estimated $600 worth of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup candies. The 17 year old thief, who was nabbed by police, has been handed over to juvenile authorities but I think he should be handed over to Hersey for some promotional work.
Psst Friggin Ohio Home of Bearman
Sorry Bearman, but it seems DC Comics have a problem with Ohio releasing Superman’s 75th anniversary license plates which read Ohio – Birthplace of Superman. Hmm, maybe because Superman was actually born on the planet Krypton. Anywho, we all know Friggin Ohio is the home of Bearman so I sent in my proposal.
Attention people in Toledo, police are on the hunt for Darth Vader, he was last seen fleeing a bank on a BMX bike with a bag full of money. Hmm, so if you happen to know someone who owns a Star Wars mask, a handgun and a cool bike, you might want to give them a buzz.
Friggin Ohio, the home of Bearman.
A group of 15 inmates at Ohio maximum security prison are seriously in touch with their feminine side after having joined a “Real Men Crochet” program to make mittens and hats for charity groups including Crayons to Computers and homeless shelters. Oh, how sweet! One murderer said crocheting gave him a positive way to pass the time. Knit one, purl one. Oh yeah, Ohio…the home of Bearman.