Actress Sentenced To 26 Years

Well that didn’t go well. A Pakistani actress, her hubby and the owner of Pakistan’s biggest media group Geo TV have all been sentenced to 26 years in jail for participating in a staged marriage scene for a tv show. The big prob was, while the actress Veena Malik and her hubby were acting out a marriage scene for a TV show in the background a religious song about the wedding of the Prophet Muhammad’s daughter was playing in the background. That’s blasphemy right there.

Pakistan Wipes Its Hands

Pakistan have booted 12 of Bin Laden’s family members out of the country, including three wives widows. They have all been deported back from whence they came.  Well, its not like they have a reason to stay!

Indian and Pakistan Border Closing Ceremony

Every day the Indian and Pakistan border is closed and every day they have a border closing ceremony. Considering they both hate each others guts it ‘s quite a show. Oh my what big legs kicks you have my dears, watch out you don’t knock yourselves out !

Psst Thanks to Megagetoverit for this clip.

2nd Psst Hmm, maybe the Americans and Mexicans could do a little dance off each day at the border like say the Mexican Hat Dance vs Charleston . Imagine the tourism potential?

Ding Dong Bin Laden’s Dead

Well it’s about friggin time. Osama Bin Laden has been killed in a mansion in Islamabad, Pakistan, by US agents. Hmm,  embarrassed much Pakistan? That could make diplomatic dinners awkward ! Oh and if you were wondering how on earth they confirmed the body was Osama’s, the US government matched brain tissue taken from his sister who died in Boston recently. The US has just announced a travel alert. Seems al Qaeda are a little miffed about the whole shooty, killy thing. It is believed Osama died from a direct hit to the head.

Psst I wonder if the US government will hand over the body to the Bin Laden family….along with the enormous bill.

2nd Psst Oh and don’t forget to spare a thought for the 40 very unlucky virgins!

UPDATE :  Three other men were killed in the Osama mansion shoot out including one of his 4567890 sons.

The Plot Thickens

Sheez, who knew? Seems former Pakistani pres Pervez Musharraf is wanted over the assassination of ex Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. Hmm, they’ve even issued an arrest warrant. Oh boy, a joint investigation team have concluded Musharraf was involved in the murder. Unfortunately he’s in exile in London and ain’t planning to return to Pakistan any time soon. During all the finger pointing the then President Musharraf government blamed Pakistan’s Taliban leader Baitullah Mehsud for the death of Bhutto. How wrong was he?

Hi Honey I’m Home!

Wait until I get home you bastard!!!!

OK loons, I found out something really cool. If I worked as an immigration officer I could put my partner’s name  on the list of terrorist suspects and stop the bastard flying home. No, no, it’s true, some guy did it to his wife and she got banned from boarding flights back into Britain for three years. When she toddled off to Pakistan to visit her family her hubby whacked her name on the list and viola, infinite wifelessness . The incident was only discovered after the man was selected for promotion and they found his wife’s name on the terror suspects list. Needless to say he’s now been sacked. Hmm, worst is yet to come…..wife is now off the list!

Want sauce with that?

Might Want To Check Your Trick or Treat Bags

OK, no need to panic but step away from your Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars people, it really IS friggin toxic. OMG, the Pakistani made candy  has a lead content that would make you cringe, way over double the allowed limit. The Food and Drug Administration has announced it is recalling every single one made since 2007 before someone really turns into sludge.

Wikileaks Inspired Sanitary Pad Ad

It was bound to happen, a tampon company in Pakistan have made a WikiLeaks inspired sanitary pad ad. It goes something like this “WikiLeaks ….Butterfly doesn’t”.

Just another reason to hate pharmaceutical companies

Business card ... and you?

And for something totally ridiculous , a doctor has been arrested in Pakistan for throwing away a business card because it belonged to a man who had the same name as the prophet Muhammad. That’s a violation of the blasphemy laws right there! The incident happened when a pharmaceutical company representative named Muhammad Faizan saw Dr Naushad Valiyani (a fellow Muslim) throw away his card after he had handed it to him. So the asshole  went and dobbed the doc in to police, noting his name was the same as the prophet’s.

First To Hang Under Blasphemy Laws

Jesus!

Holy blaspheming Christian Batman. Christian woman Asia Bibi has been sentenced to hang in Pakistan for defaming the Prophet Mohammad. The alleged incident happened while she was working in the fields with some other women and was asked to fetch some water. When she returned some of the Muslim women refused to touch the water because it was brought to them by a Christian. All hell broke loose and the next thing Bibi knew a friggin mob had formed. She was eventually arrested and held in isolation for a year before being sentenced to hang. Sheez, next time tell them to get their own friggin water…bitches!