Tag Archives: pastor

Snake Pastor Dies

snake6A reality show pastor, who used deadly snakes in his sermons, has died after he refused medical help after getting bitten. The reason? Well, the Bible says a poisonous snakebite will not harm anyone as long as they are anointed by God’s power. Hmm, that’s like awkward.

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Filed under Sore Loser, Whoops!

Divine Semen of the Holy Spirit

Pastor believed he had divine semenAnd the worst reasoning ever by a Brazilian pastor for the raping of women in his congregation ….his penis had been consecrated with “divine semen of the Holy Spirit.” Oh dear delusional soul. He told the women that God would come into their lives through their mouth or more specifically, when he ejaculated into their mouth during oral sex. Lord have mercy. He told police that he had encountered Jesus in a brothel and Jesus had given him the thumbs up to spread his sacred semen. He also said “I hope to continue my wonderful job within the prison”. Guess he’s gonna be one popular pastor. Bless.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Face Kicking Pastor

He’s Canadian, he’s a convicted sex offender, he’s a pastor and he kicks people in the face to heal them. I’m thinking the devil makes him do it!!! Introducing Todd Bentley…

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

A Pastor On A Motorcycle Fail

You now know what God thinks about bringing a motorcycle into church!!!

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Filed under How Embarrassing, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Pastor Shows Gay Porn In Church

Love Thy Neighbor, but just not that way!

So you’re a homophobic pastor from Uganda what’s the best way to get your message across? Show gay porn that’s what. Martin Ssempa , the Christian that wants to impose the death penalty for some gays, showed the pornography during his church service and plans to continue to do so.  Yes, the pastor is either on a crusade  or is hiding a deep dark yearning. Thank goodness he isn’t against child pornography.

Psst And the lesson today is you just don’t go on your knees to pray!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Can’t Wait To Hear Your Next Sermon!

You humans crack me up!

You humans crack me up!

Oh for Pete’s sakes mister,check out number 7 & 8 on your Ten Commandments list.Seventh Day Adventist Church of Reform pastor Wikler Moran-Mora got himself into some holy hotwater after faking a kidnapping so he could spend more with his girlfriend. Yes, the dunderklumpen from Florida, text his wife to say he had been kidnapped, not thinking she would call the police! The police ( a dozen of them) eventually traced his cell phone and found the pastor giving comfort, but not in a Biblical sense, to his mistress.

Psst Hmm, you might want to be thinking about breaking  #9 right about now!

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Wrong, How Embarrassing, Sore Loser, Whoops!