Tag Archives: pensioner

Evidently Painting Your Gates At Night Naked Is Wrong

Naked gate painter told to stopI get no kick from champagne
Mere alcohol doesn’t thrill me at all
So tell me why should it be true
That I get a kick out of painting my gates in the dark , naked?

A 76 year old pensioner in Cumbria has had to plonk his name on a sex offenders register  after he got caught varnishing his back gates at night while naked. Yeah OK, he’s had 8 other convictions and admits he gets sexual gratification from being nude but he’s adamant that he doesn’t get turned on  from being seen by others. Now the poor guy isn’t allowed to appear in a public place naked or wearing less than one garment of clothing except unless he’s in need of a medical examination.


Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

So What Do You Think?

OMG, a Spanish pensioner in her 80s decided she’d surprise her priest by attempting to restore a 19th century fresco in the local church. Shame she actually didn’t know how to paint. Check out her seriously blotched DIY job …


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !

Gramps 1, Kiddies 0

My bad?

Rats! A German pensioner has been arrested after he allegedly laced several chocolate Easter bunnies with rat poison, repackaged them and then hung them from a tree for children to find. Seems  he was pissed off with the local kiddies constantly stealing things from his garden. One of his victims had to have his stomach pumped after he nicked one and ate it on the way to school. Joerg-Werner Lubbe confessed to police he had sprayed the chocolate bunnies with ammonium hydroxide.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Why, Why, Why, Delilah?

Now, lets see ....

OMG, a pensioner who had no family has left a large amount of her life savings to ….wait for it….Centrelink. Ms Delilah Moussa, a Lebanese born pensioner who died in 2007, was a regular visitor to the Campbelltown branch where she often came in to have a chat with staff and discuss her welfare payments. The $60,000 has been put to good use with the branch using the money to set up a program to assist elderly people who are isolated in their homes to have more access to social outings and support. The Campbelltown Centrelink have also put up a plaque in dedication to her generosity.


Filed under Friggin Awesome, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

No Joking Matter

Anyone else want to be a smart ass?

Word of warning people, don’t even so much as mention the word “bomb” when flying on Etihad Airways or you too could find yourself in jail. Jean-Louis Lioret a 66 year old Frenchman has been arrested after the flight crew overheard him use the word “bomb” while chatting with another passenger on a flight from Bangkok to Paris. Her’s how it prettty much unfolded….while waiting at Abu Dhabi during a stopover the person sitting next to him asked Lioret is it was possible to place a packet on the empty seat next to him. Jokingly he replied “I hope it’s not a bomb”. Before he could say bippityboppityboo he was taken off the plane and jailed where he still remains. Unfrigginlucky.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!