Tag Archives: Philadelphia

A Girl’s Gotta Do, What a Girl’s Gotta Do

You wake up at 3am and are desperate for a slushie, what do you do? Hmm, well if you are 4 year old Annabella, you don on your purple raincoat, unlock the back-door and hop on a Philadelphia bus straight to the nearest shop. Fortunately the bus driver was astute enough to realise she was way too young to be out at that time of the morning and contacted police. And no, she never did get that slushie.


Filed under Friggin Awesome, You Go Girl!

On the Streets of Philadelphia

OK, here’s the thing mother of a two year old, if your tyke walks up to a light post, pulls down his pants and pees, that’s  a fine. Hmm, no, just because the nearest bathroom was closed to the public is no excuse, that will be 50 bucks thanks. One more time, no peeing in public.


Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Dude, Hand Over The Meatball Sub Or I Shoot

You know what I hate? As you are leaving Nick’s Deli in Philly two guys jump out of a car, pull a gun and steal your meatball sub. I really friggin hate that. The 13 year old victim was minding his own beeswax when Rashawn Mallory and Ernest Barnett pointed a handgun at him and then went through his pockets. When they releazed he didn’t have any money they stole his sub. During the robbery the dumbass thieves didn’t bother taking the boy’s cell phone, which he then used to call the cops. It wasn’t long before they found the culprits but unfortunately no sandwich. Evidence eaten!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Bottom Enlargement Fail


OMG a 20 year old Hip Hop dancer from England has died in Philadelphia after allegedly being  injected with  industrial silicone (usually used as a sealant) to make her butt bigger. Concerned her  booty wasn’t big enough for a Hip Hop career,  Claudia Aderotimi  jetted off to have the  illegal procedure done in a cheap hotel room in Philly. About 12 hours after the jab she began complaining of severe chest pains and died later in hospital. Police are currently investigating whether industrial silicone was used and/or if the substance was accidentally injected into a vein. Prior to the bottom enlargement op Claudia wore special padded pants to give her backside more fullness.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, I'm Just Saying !

The Postman Never Rings

These don't look important!

To resident of Bustleton, we know know why the United States Postal Service complaints section in Philadelphia has been so busy for the last decade. They have just uncovered 20,000 pieces of undelivered mail at a Philadelphia postal carrier’s garage. Whoopsie, he must have been a lazy bugger because it took three mail truck to move the stack. Hmm, some of the mail dates back to 1997.Officials are still trying to locate the postal worker but in the meantime they are attempting to deliver all the overdue letters.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!


Oh for goodness sakes people, it took a year for officials at a Veterans Affairs Department hospital in Philadelphia to realize a computer used to assess a patient’s response to prostate cancer treatment had been unplugged! Seems a techo had unplugged it from a jack to connect another piece of hardware but never plugged it back in! Hmm, and it took a year to discover?


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, How Embarrassing, Whoops!

Play Ball

Run onto a field in Philadelphia during a baseball game, expect to get tasered bro! Steve Consalvi (17) learned the hard way that disrupting a game and making a policeman have to run gets you a tasering. The incident happened during a Phillies vs St Louis Cardinals game when Consalvi grabbed a white towel and began running around the outfield. Next thing he knew he was falling face first onto the ground having been zapped in the back.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Honey, Where’s the Kid?

Hey, wait for me!

OK, here’s the thing jewel thieves, when robbing a store don’t be leaving your 4 year old boy behind. It is alleged the couple and child entered the Platinum & Ice Jewelry store in Philadelphia and asked to view some rings and jewelry. The next thing the clerk knew they had grabbed a tray of items valued at over $100,000 and bolted with kid in tow. However, after 2 and half blocks the rather fit clerk had managed to catch up with them. The male thief then whipped out a knife, slashing the clerk’s face and neck, before fleeing with the his partner in crime, leaving the clerk to deal with his flesh wound and the confused little boy. As of yet no one has come forward to claim him.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, How Embarrassing, Whoops!

Bless Me Father For I Have Sinned

Do I look like a druggie officer?

As if the Catholic church hasn’t got enough to worry about, a Roman Catholic priest from Pennsylvania was busted for buying cocaine in Philadelphia. James B. Shimsky (50) was arrested after narcotics police spied him making a drug deal in his jeep. When they pulled him over they discovered a small amount of coke in the vehicle and you know the rest. Hmm, good luck explaining that to the St. John Vianney Parish. There’s a few hail Mary’s right there!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Nice Knowing Ya!


OK, no need to panic people but lets just say I wouldn’t be making too many plans for the future. Holy self destructing Supernova Batman. Astromomers from Villanova University in Philadelphia are concerned about a star, which is ready to explode. Reason? It could wipe out the friggin Earth. The star known as T Pyxis is actually a lot closer to Earth than previously thought. OK, it’s 3,260 light years away, but that is friggin close in science friggin la la jargon. Oh and it is ready to explode and create a huge friggin kaboom equivilent to 20 billion billion billion megatons of TNT.Got your attention now, have I? A blast that size could send, what is left of our ozone layer, into another friggin galaxy, leaving us pretty much screwed. Sweet dreams.


Filed under Friggin Scary, Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!