Get a Job

Sometimes it is just easier to rob a bank. A female bank employee was taken hostage by some dude at her home in Phoenix and held overnight. The next day he drove her to the Bank of America , placed a friggin device around her neck and told her to get him money. The cops were alerted , he fled and the bomb squad rocked up and removed the device from around her neck, which turned out to be a fake bomb.

Developers to Demolish Frank Lloyd Wright house

OMG, one of the most iconic architects of the modern generation, Frank Lloyd Wright, would be rolling around in his grave. Seems an Arizona land developer is planning to demolish, yes, you heard me, demolish, one of his great masterpieces. The not so well known spiral concrete house was designed and built by Frank for his son in 1952. It has remained relatively off the radar to most historians because his son didn’t want his home to become a landmark. Now, however,  it will be permanently off the radar if preservationists can’t find someone to buy it off the developers in the next two days.  Hmm, good luck with that.

Want sauce with that?

SWAT Flop

You know what I hate? When a Phoenix SWAT team accidentally shoots the wrong woman. I really friggin hate that! The sharpshooters were responding to a call about an an armed woman, who had barricaded herself into an apartment with another woman. At some stage the women swapped clothes and kaboom the swat team fired hitting the innocent victim. Police aren’t sure if the clothes swap was diliberately done to confuse the shooters but the armed woman was later arrested and the poor victim taken to hospital. Hmm, the victim was kinda in a lose/lose situation!

Rain City Superhero Movement

Attention all bad guys in Lynnwood, Washington, be prepared to have your ass kicked by Phoenix, Thorn, Buster Doe, Green Reaper, Gemini, No Name, Catastrophe, Thunder 88 and Penelope. The gang of 9 superheroes who call themselves ‘Rain City Superhero Movement’ have taken to the streets to help police fight crime. Oh and if you think they are just suffering Batman envy,  these dudes all have either military or martial arts training. Hmm, except maybe for Phoenix’s glamorous female sidekick who drives him around in a KIA but never gets out of the car (possibly his mom). Phoenix carries around mace, tear gas, a taser, bulletproof vest and trauma plating on his arms and legs. Since the superheroes began their crusade 9 months ago they have been shot at, stabbed and laughed at.

Psst Oh and just a word of warning, if you come across Captain Ozone or Knight Owl, ignore them, they aren’t part of the Superhero Movement but just some random superheroes.

Jesus On His Thumb

Holy thumbprint Batman, an 8th grader from Phoenix believes he found Jesus on his thumb. Austin Coleman was doing a science project for school, where he had to place his thumbprint on a piece of paper, but when he stepped back from it he saw an image he believes resembles Jesus. What do you think loons?

Hmm?

Not Enough Gas In The Tank Boys

OK, here’s the thing dudes, when siphoning gas from an underground tank make sure there is enough fresh air so you don’t pass out from the fumes. Introducing Robert Jeter, Jarad Desanti and George Brabakos  the three bright sparks who attempted to steal gasoline from a Circle K’s underground tank in Phoenix. You gotta give the men points for trying, they rebuilt their van like a friggin tanker, complete with false floor, pumping equipment and a 450 gallon tank , then parked over the top of the tank and popped the hood up to give the impression they had broken down. Unfortunately/ fortunately the tank they were stealing from was rigged with alarms and it wasn’t long before the police were called to investigate. There they found Jeter passed out inside the van and the other two clowns standing outside. I guess we should be grateful nobody smoked…kaboom!

A Very Slow Reader

We've got friggin 10 revised additions since then!

Here’s the thing, anonymous person who has kept overdue books for 50 years, your excuse is lame. The Camelback High School in Phoenix received two overdue books from a former student who had checked them out in 1959 but never bothered to return them. Along with the books was a $1,000 money order for all the friggin fines. OK, wait for it, here’s the excuse, the kid’s family moved to another state and the books were packed. Hmm, like 50 years later you decide to unpack them?

Psst Geez, you’d have thought they would have named the friggin books.That is going to annoy me now!