Tag Archives: pirates

Wish You Were Here

Dear Mom and Dad,

Just a little note to say thank you for the cruise to the Seychelles as I know how much you guys worried when you realized the ship was from the same fleet as the Costa Concordia. But no need to fret, we have avoided the reefs. Last night I smelled what I thought was a barbeque but it turned out to be a fire in the engine room. The captain turned off all the lights so we decided to play hide and seek with our emergency torches. That was so much fun. Tonight the captain wants us to play spot the pirate ships from the deck which I am really looking forward to. The water has been rather choppy so I have avoided eating, which is great because I think I have lost a few pounds and anywho they are only serving dry bread and crackers because they don’t want us getting sick from the food going off in the refrigerators. I tell you this crew are so thoughtful. Evidently we will be floating adrift for a few days so we can experience some uncharted territories. If we are lucky we may even get to see some elusive Somali pirates.I am avoiding using my phone to text you so I have enough battery life to take a few photos of them. I sure hope they look like Johnny Depp. OK, I better go as it is my turn to use the bucket. Evidently the toilets don’t work without power. Who knew? Oh and mom and dad, don’t bother picking me up at the terminal, I might be a few weeks late.


Want sauce with that?


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Elderly Man Pirates Avatar For His Wife

Oh how sweet, the elderly man wearing large glasses and using a walking stick, who was caught video taping Avatar in a US cinema, told police he was filming it for his wife. The 88 year old said she was unable to make the movies so he was recording it for her to watch later. Police deleted the movie before allowing him back to finish watch the movie. Sound like a crabby old fart we know, right Mr Mills?


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Easy Mistake

Somali pirates failA group of Somali pirates thought they were so, so smart opening fire on a harmless cargo vessel, until they realized it was a French navy ship! Well, that is five less pirates to worry about!


Filed under How Embarrassing, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Anyone Seen a Big Friggin Ship?

Oh where, oh where, can that 4,000-ton Arctic Sea ship be? Yes, yet another cargo ship has been hijacked. OK, we have confirmation it has been pirated but know idea by whom and we have a ransom demand, now all authorities have to do is friggin find it! This is the first time in modern maritime history that a ship has disappeared off the face of the earth in European shipping waters. The ship is believed to have vanished in the English Channel, 50 miles from Penzance. Despite claims the ship was only carrying 6,500 tons of timber, rumors are rife that it may have been carrying a “secret cargo” in a “nuclear” kind of way. The Arctic Sea is owned by Finnish-based Russian businessmen. Read into that what you will! Oh and if for some reason you happened to sight a huge friggin ship with 15 very frightened Russian crewmen waving frantically at you, can you give the CIA a buzz.

UPDATE Stop looking Ann, the ship has been sighted near Cape Verde.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing