You know what I hate? When it rains poo. You know what I really hate? When it rains poo while you have your sunroof open! Apparently, liquid sh#t fell from the sky over a town in British Columbia and straight onto a mother and son who were stopped at traffic lights. It took them a few seconds for the smell to hit them but then….grrrrr. They believe the liquid poo that covered them and their car was from an airplane. Random people’s sh#t.
Tag Archives: poo
You would think this would be a sure fire way of convincing a jury you were insane but it seems the old pulling poop from your pants and eating it in front of jurors just doesn’t cut it any more. Could it have been his deliberate holding up of the poo before shoving it in his mouth or the DAs argument that he “really,really likes meth-amphetamine” that lead to his downfall ? Whatever the California court found him guilty of armed robbery. See ya.
You know what I hate? When you are out shopping and a septic tanker explodes covering you in poo. I really hate that. Several Chinese shoppers were given a feces shower after a septic tanker went kaboom. One shop owner was traumatized after all of his merchandise was covered in the stinking brown liquid. A spokesman said the crap came from public toilets. Good to know.
Attention good folks of Michigan, it seems you have a mystery pooper in one of your popular parks. The defecator, who has been at it for months, leaves little piles on the slides at Ypsilanti’s Prospect Park. So far they have avoided getting caught but just so you know …. they have cameras set up now you dirty, dirty stinker.
I don’t know what 14th century Danish people use to eat but it can’t be good. When archeologists dug up 700 year old latrines from the an old toilet site in Odense they got a nasty surprise . Floaties. Yep, the poo inside the barrels was still in excellent condition and stunk to high heaven. After the excrement was analysed they found out two interesting things a) they ate a lot of friggin raspberries and b) they used moss and fabric to wipe their butts.
Alas poor Yorrick, a man of infinite jest is placing human poo in the dryers at Yale University. The first victim opened up the dryer expecting to find her clothes soft and warm but instead was faced with an unfathomable horror … the poo cycle. Not only had her clothes been spinning around with someone’s feces the culprit had also taken a leak in there as well. She told reporters “I simultaneously wanted to throw up, cry and punch someone,” So far the perpertrator has claimed three victims.
Give up? Well it’s a stool tool chart. Cambridge University students Alexandra Daisy Ginsberg and James King have created a yogurt type drink that can turn your shit into all the pretty colors of a rainbow to discover how sick you are. Yep, they have genetically modified all the nasty bacterias into different colors so when you down the “E.Chromi” drink and then crap in the bowl, you can self diagnose. Splendid. So, here’s rundown of the chart…
Yellow = Colitis
Green = Bowel Cancer
Red = Rotavirus
Mauve = Salmonella
Dark Blue = Stomach Ulcer
Light Blue = Worms
Brown = Good to go
This is a hypochondriacs dream!!! Oh and Mega, you might want to ignore this chart as you’ve been pooping rainbow turds for years!!!!
OMG, just another reason why you should take antiseptic wipes every friggin where you go. A recent study of hotel rooms revealed that the most common place you will find fecal matter is on the TV remote, telephone and bedside lamp. AND by fecal matter I mean poo loons, poo!!!! Oh and don’t bother tipping the maid, she/he is the likely culprit in spreading bacteria thanks to contaminate mops and cleaning gear.