Tag Archives: pool

SS Upchuck

I hate my life!

I hate my life!

You know your holiday is going downhill when passengers start upchucking in the pool. Time to pack and get the hell off the horror cruise, I say. Gastro has reared its ugly head once again on a cruise Down Under. Over 200 people of the 4000 passengers are believed to be suffering from the unfortunate bug. Despite emptying the pools, disinfecting everything in sight and ordering the sick to stay the heck away from healthy passengers the cruise went to hell in a handbag (and sick bag). On a bright note, the smorgasbord was relatively free to indulge . Bon appetite.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Nutcracker On Ice

Talk about an epic ice fail. A German man was attempting to jump into a frozen pool and shatter the layer of ice  but instead this is what happened …..



Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Land Of The Rising Temperature

No need to panic people but it seems Fukushima is having a little prob activating the cooling system in that damn reactor 4 and the temperature is rising and rising and …..OK, run people, run!!!!. The pool’s temperature is rising 0.26 degrees per hour and if by Tuesday if they haven’t fixed the problem, it will have reached danger levels of  65 degrees.

Want sauce with that?


Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !

Body Heat

Guess what? The Worcestershire leisure center’s pool in England will soon be heated with energy from a nearby crematorium. Yep, that’s right, as bodies burn the water will warm. Good to know!!!


Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

I Hope You Have A Good Pool Cleaner

I hate my life!

I hate my life!

Oh for goodness sakes people, please don’t go jumping naked into someones swimming pool covered in shit. Didn’t your mom teach you anything? Robert Stark Higgins claims he had been out drinking when he used a strangers swimming pool to remove the feces he was covered in. It didn’t take long for the police sniffer dogs to find him. Hmm,no word on how he happened to be covered in shit but I am guesssing he was drinking Buttwiser.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wrong, Well I Never

A Pool Playing Pooch

Oh for goodness sakes, now what? A friggin pool playing pooch… just what the world needs! Halo has become quite the little Pool Hand Luke with his uncanny ability to sink balls. Geez, all my dog does is lick his!


Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never