Holy Coprolite, Batman

A Florida man is now has the Guinness World Record holder for the largest collection of Dino shit. That would be fossilised feces, 1,277 pieces to be exact. His largest nugget of Dinosaur waste is 4lb 3.5 ounces and it’s named precious…..naw.

Holy Sh*t

A group of monks in India are hoping the government will allow them to poop in public. Yep, they want to have the rights, on religious grounds, to crap wherever they like. The dilemma facing the government now is, exempt the monks or go with public health initiatives which includes abolishing public defecation by 2019.

Happy Friggin Birthday

Oh no, what are the odds that at the exact time you were having your 16th birthday party, a  shower of  feces rains down on you? Jacinta and 40 guests were merrily celebrating the big event in their New York backyard when they looked up into the sky and no, it’s not a bird , no it’s not Superman…..but five  friggin planes. The likelihood is one of the those planes decided to dump their motherload of sh*t onto them. The father was just grateful they had finished eating the birthday cake minutes before the brown shower.

Patience is not always a virtue

Cops in Britain waited over three weeks for a guy to poop out the 44 bags of crack and heroin that he had placed up his butt. The drug dealer, who originally refused to eat , was eventually taken to hospital to have them retrieved by a doctor. Days up butt= 23 days, Street value = $2,000, Street cred = 0.

Psst: The dude got 23 months.

In Space No One Can Hear You Poop

Come on Loons, haven’t you always wanted to know  how to poop in space?  Well wonder no more, all your questions have been answered. PSST: Did she say the urine is recycled into water? Budget cuts suck!

Might Need More Public Toilets

Oh for crying out loud Hampton, Illinois , over the past 2 years there has been an increased amount of poop on the bike paths and in car parks. Oh and they don’t belong to dogs or bears. Seems people are dropping their draws and letting rip on the paths  before wiping their butts with toilet paper and leaving it on top. The problem has become so bad the council have now erected signs.

Special Delivery

Bummer. An Iowa woman has been charged with harassment  after sending a surprise parcel of cow poop to her neighbour because they complained about her dogs barking. Oh and if by some chance you were wondering how she did it, she ordered the offensive faeces from poopsenders.com who can arrange parcels of cow, gorilla or elephant poop to be delivered through the United States Postal Service. Good to know.

Complicating Toilet Paper

Sick of  poop on your hands after going to the toilet? Well have I got a product for you that promises faeces free hands. Introducing  pocket toilet paper, where you simply slip your hands into a pocket made from two pieces of toilet paper. Some dude is trying to raise $121,000 on a kickstarter site to get this little winner off the ground.   So far he has been promised $3 ….

Psst I think the prob is going going to be , how to slip it off your hand without, you know, having it run down…oh never mind.

Cat Poop Fail

Oh dear god

But Look At The Carpet!!!

Some random naked drunk dude enters your home, turns your hot water sink sprayer on full blast, does a huge crap on your carpet then paints the walls with it and the police don’t arrest him. Now that would make you pissed! The family held him at gun point until the cops rocked up but they only cited him for two misdemeanors. Bummer.

Psst Iowa