Tag Archives: poop

Dirty Laundry

someone placing feces in yale university clothes dryersAlas poor Yorrick, a man of infinite jest is placing human poo in the dryers at Yale University. The first victim opened up the dryer expecting to find her clothes soft and warm but instead was faced with an unfathomable horror … the poo cycle. Not only had her clothes been spinning around with someone’s feces the culprit had also taken a leak in there as well.   She told reporters “I simultaneously wanted to throw up, cry and punch someone,”  So far the perpertrator has claimed three victims.

Want sauce with that?

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Flushed out

Burglar arrested after using toilet at crime sceneA burglar from Oklahoma City, who had a bad habit of not flushing, has been busted after used toilet paper and a floater  which were found at the crime scene were matched to his DNA. Ewh. Pity the fool, who had to scoop the poop.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Look. Up in the Sky. It’s …. Run

Family believe plane dropped feces on carsTwo families in Ontario suspect passing airplanes have been dropping crap on their properties and by crap I mean poop. The families say that their cars and driveways where splattered with petrid smelling feces which could have only come from above….. from either a plane or a “pterodactyl”. Airport authorities say samples have been analysed and it definitely ain’t their shit.

10 Comments

Filed under Er Gross !, Friggin Gross, Whoops!

Just Passing Through

Homeless woman poops in backyard then takes a bath in swimming poolA woman in Florida was arrested after she was caught on surveilannce video crapping in a man’s backyard before stripping off and taking a bath in his swimming pool . That’s not what you want. She later told police she was jut passing through on her way to Washington DC to yell at President Obama. No word on what she was going to yell.

5 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Jealous Poo Flinging Penguins

I'm going for the one on the right!

Some penguins, who will remain nameless,  are so pissed that the new pandas at the Edinburgh Zoo are getting all the attention they have resorted to flinging poo at visitors. The penguins have extremely good aim and have no problem hitting their intended target….the panda lovers. The jealous penguins are located a little higher than the pandas, and have a clear view of the large crowds lining up to see Tian Tian and Yang Guang each day. So far only a few visitors have been sprayed with the oily, fish smelly poop but given the pandas intended 10 year stay, there is no doubt there will be many more victims.

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife

Poop Transplant

Well, here's hoping!!!

How far would you go to save your life ?  Well, Jerry Grant is literally going to take shit from his wife to save his. Yep, poor Grant has an intestinal disease which gives him serious bouts of diarrhea. However, doctors believe by transplanting his wife’s feces into his body it might just replace the digestive bacterias he lacks and stop the runs. Hmm, now that’s love.

17 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

No Shit Sherlock

Attention all crooks in Sweden, if you plan to commit a crime, make sure you don’t leave a friggin pile of poop at the scene for the police to later DNA and link to you. Two robbers, who broke into a farm, tied up the owner and made off with money and a car now regret having taken a crap before setting the car alight. Tsk, tsk, I hope they wiped their bums!

 

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, Whoops!

Do Not Poop on a Dead Hedgehog In Public

When a drunk Victor Ford pulled his pants down and squatted over a grass verge to take a dump, little did he know he was seen by a police officer. To make matters worse when the cop wondered over to have a word he saw that Mr Ford had shat on a dead hedgehog. Heavens to murgatroyd, no!!! When confronted Mr Ford said “When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go,”.  Hmm, that’s a outraging public decency right there!

Psst At least the hedgehog was dead and not just sleeping!

Want sauce with that?

8 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

What A Hoot

Sorry!

Ewh, step away from the water in Weston folks, its full of owl poop. Yep, a public works employee in the small town in Oregon discovered E.Coli bacteria in the water and went to investigate. Hmm, seems an itty bitty owl has built a nest over the town’s water supply and has been using it as a toilet. The water is currently unsafe to drink.

Psst And no FF, I haven’t got footage of the owl in action!

4 Comments

Filed under Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

So That’s Why A Postman Always Rings Twice

You know what I hate? When your postie poops in your yard. I really friggin hate that! A Portland homeowner was so horrified at what he was witnessing from his living room window he grabbed his camera. Don Derfler saw the postman pull down his pants and shit in his garden. That’s one nasty delivery. Postie has been suspended pending an investigation.

Psst Are you all thinking what I am?  How did he wipe his ass?

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never