Tag Archives: Pope Benedict XVI

Nun In For A Shock

Damn, you win dad!

Imagine spending 84 years inside the walls of a convent without ever leaving? Well, 103 year old nun, Sister Teresita, has. Yep, the last time she left the convent, which is located 60 miles from Madrid,  was during the Spanish Civil War of 1936-39 and then only in brief intervals of a few hours during fighting. But, drum roll please,  the spritely soul will soon leave the nunnery one more time to meet Pope Benedict XVI during World Youth Day (hmm, she kinda missed that boat!). Anywho, I hope she doesn’t forget to pack the sun cream!

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Pope Ticket Sales Poor

Awkward. Seems Pope Benedict XVI is having probs flogging tickets to his open air Masses in Britain. Hmm, here’s a Christian thing to do, don’t friggin charge them and they might come!

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Richard Dawkins Wants The Pope Arrested

Well, well, well, author of The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins, is going where no man has feared to tread before. He’s on a mission to have the Pope arrested for crimes against humanity. He has even hired lawyers to sus out if Pope Benedict XVI can be charged over those damn sexual abuse scandals currently rocking the Catholic Church. Mr Dawkins angle will be that the Pope had intentionally shielded pedophile priests from the authorities “This is a man whose first instinct when his priests are caught with their pants down is to cover up the scandal and damn the young victims to silence,” Ooh ah, good luck with that!

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Happy Easter from the Pope

While everyone holds their breath in anticipation of  some apology or reference to the recent catholic priest sex scandals rocking the Vatican, Pope Benedict XVI has remained tight lipped during the Easter celebrations.  Seems the only reference muttered was something about Jesus “turning the other cheek”. Geez, I hope he wasn’t referring to butt cheeks!  Spin doctors are currently at work making Pope Benedict the champion of the cause “It was Pope Benedict who gave us, in different ways, the ability to handle this crisis more quickly and in  a way that helps to heal.”  Blah, blah, blah if he truly was serious about fighting predator priests they should be excommunicated and all information turned over to police. It’s as simple as that!

Psst For all the low down on Pope scandals in recent months head over to the Madhatters.

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You’re Just The Devil In Disguise

Holy king of darkness Batman, guess where the devil is ? Well if you believe the Pope’s chief exorcist, he’s in the Vatican. Father Gabriele Amorth (84) is convinced the attack on Pope Benedict XVI and all the recent child sex abuse scandals are the work of the damn devil who is living amongst them. Amorth believes the Vatican needs a good old exorcism to “cast out the evil”. Now don’t be raising your eyebrow too high, Amorth has carried out more than 70,000 exorcisms in his 50 year career (that devil sure gets around!). He’s seen it all “From the mouths of the possessed people all sorts of things come out, bits of metal as long as a finger, rose petals.” According to Amorth the devil has possessed numerous people including Hitler and Stalin. In fact he revealed that Pope Pius XII attempted a “long distance” exorcism of Hitler but it failed (no kidding).  Hmm and Amorth is none too happy about the Harry Potter series believing it  opens up children’s  minds  to the “king of darkness.”

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Join the skeptic club!, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Pope Is Pushed

Oh for goodness sakes people, don’t be knocking down the Pope, he’s friggin 82. Hips people, hips! Pope Benedict XVI was attending Christmas Eve Mass when some crazy lady (aka Susanna Maiolo) jumped the barriers, ran up to him then pushed him over. It didn’t take long for Pope Benedict to bounced back up and continue on his way to the main alter. Geez, I bet he’ll have some nasty bruises. Oh and the woman in her frenzy also shoved Cardinal Roger Etchegaray to the ground and he was taken to hospital. By the time the Pope started mass he had composed himself.

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Alma Mater

King of Papal Pop

King of Papal Pop

The ultimate Christmas gift for someone who has everything. Why not get them the Pope Benedict XVI Christmas album. Yippee. Wouldn’t you just love to hear him chanting to some of the best known prayers in Latin, Italian, Portuguese, French and German? Hmm, it is also rumored he may even throw in some modern classical music. Colin Barlow, the president of Geffen (the people who gave you Guns n’ Roses, Elton John, Donna Summer and Snoop Dogg) said “The Pope has got almost a lullaby tone to the way he sings,”. Does that mean it will put you to sleep? Oh and before I forget, some bad news for the ipodders amongst us, no downloadable songs, you’ll have to buy the Cd. Bummer.

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Excommunicated Bishop is Back

Oh dear, it seems the Vatican and the Jewish community are at odds over Pope Benedict XVI decision to welcome back a British bishop who was excommunicated in 1988. Problem is the Bishop believes that no Jews died in gas chambers during the second world war (oh no).Richard Williamson was excommunicated after it was discovered he was ordained by French archbishop Marcel Lefebvre of the breakaway order Society of Saint Pius X. Hmm, however in a move that has upset many Jews, Pope Benedict has rehabilitated the rogue bishop in an act of Christian unity. Only last week Williamson said in an interview that historical evidence “is hugely against six million having been deliberately gassed in gas chambers as a deliberate policy of Adolf Hitler … I believe there were no gas chambers”. Oh boy, good start to your  Christian unity !

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