Tag Archives: porn star

Pope Blesses Parrot

Who's a pretty boy

Who’s a pretty boy

Pope Francis just keeps getting cooler. During his general Wednesday audience at the Vatican, the popular Pope not only blessed a former male stripper turned porn star  but his parrot too. Pope Francis told the awe struck actor it was ‘a beautiful gift from God.’. Oh loons, he was talking about the parrot for goodness sakes!!!!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Wildlife

Canadian Psycho

You might be fooled into thinking this is a plot to a grisly thriller (ala American Psycho), but the Canadian Conservative Party office in Ottawa aren’t laughing, they received a human foot in the mail. A human hand was later intercepted at a post office in Ottawa and a torso in Montreal. The culprit is believed to be Luka Rocco Magnotta, a washed up porn star. Magnotta , who once dated a serial killer, is believed to have fled the country. Police suspect that a video, which has been circulating on the net showing a man being stabbed with an ice pick and being dismembered while the soundtrack to America Psycho is playing in the background, may be the actual murder. Holy horror movie Batman.

PSST By the way Loons, for all the latest on this and ever  other serial killer out there, go to Psychowatchers blog Real Life Monsters.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Porn Star Has Penis Insured

Here’s a Trivial Pursuit question for you. How much did the British porn studio Brazzers insure their number one porn star’s penis for? Hmm, if you said a million bucks, stand up and clap. After Keiran Lee had a medical exam, to make sure his thingamajiggy was all fit and healthy, he was given the stamp of approval. Here’s the bitch though, the policy doesn’t include loss of penis and, if by some strange chance, the family jewels gets injured, his boss gets the pay out. Porn stars aren’t bright, are they?

Psst  I wonder if the policy includes impotence?  A curious Loon wants to know!!!

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !

Gordon Ramsay’s Dwarf Doppelganger Eaten By Badgers

Oh my, some of you may remember Percy Foster, he’s an x rated dwarf porn star who is the spitting image of Hell’s Kitchen chef Gordon Ramsay and the star of Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, It’s Up Your Arse We Go. Well anywho, Percy’s been found dead in a badger’s den. Yes, I’m talking the home of the of those weasel type critters. The half eaten body was discovered by agriculture experts who were planning to gas the badgers in an area near Wales. No one knows how he got so deep into the animal’s chamber but investigators think it may have been suicide.

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Filed under End Credit

RIP Sexy Cora

A German porn star who appeared on the German version of Big Brother has died after complications from a boob job.Sexy Cora (born Carolin Ebert) suffered severe brain damage after an operation to increase her breast size from F to G was botched. Minutes into the procedure she had a heart attack and was placed into an induced coma but died 9 days later. The two doctors who performed the op have been charged with negligent manslaughter. In 2009 she was hospitalized in an attempt to break the world record for the number of fellatios performed in one day. She was hoping for 200 but only managed 75.  Sexy Cora was just 23 RIP.

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Filed under End Credit

Safe Sex Porn

Now that got your attention!

OK, here’s the thing Derrick Burts the porn star, if you had already contracted chlamydia, gonorrhea and herpes from your profession maybe you should have considered using a condom before you got the big one, HIV, I’m just saying! Burts, aka Cameron Reid and Derek Chambers, tested positive for AIDS in October and now wants it mandatory for men to wear condoms on porn sets. He believes he caught the virus while on a gay porn shoot in Florida as the only person he has had sex with in his personal life is his girlfriend who has tested negative. In the meantime there has been a mad rush by porn stars to be tested.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

Porn Star to the Rescue

Hey, I've always looked young!

Some porn stars aren’t bad folk, take Lupe Fuentes for instance. She flew to Puerto Rico to get Carlos Simon-Timmerman, a pizza delivery guy from Brooklyn,  off the hook for transporting child pornography.The problems started for Mr Simon-Timmerman when US customs agents discovered a DVD, Little Lupe the Innocent,  in his luggage as he went through San Juan Airport security and was promptly arrested for possession of child porn. During the trial a pediatrician insisted the girl in the video was underage. Enter Lupe Fuentes. Mr Simon-Timmerman’s lawyer Hector Ramos-Vega, managed to track the porn star down via her website and she was more than happy to fly in , take the stand and show her passport to prove she wasn’t under age when she made the movie.Phew, that could have been 20 years jail right there. How could he ever repay her…wait, oh, never mind!

Psst Well that DVD was misleading, now wasn’t it!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, How Embarrassing, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

And When Were You Going to Tell Me?

Honey, I can explain!!!!!!

Honey, I can explain!!!!!!

Haylie Hocking thought she had found the perfect guy Jason, a good looking, romantic, fitness fanatic who was great in bed. After months of dating he proposed.All was buzz and excitement as Haylie prepared for the big day.She arranged a big old Hen’s night with her friends and was ready to spend the rest of her life with the man she loved.That was until….drum roll…her friend tried to book a stripper online for the Hen’s party and discovered a male porn site featuring good old Jason. Oh yeah, Jason failed to mention that “personal trainer” actually meant porn star.I guess that wedding is off! Hmm, I don’t know, it has it’s advantages!

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Filed under How Embarrassing, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!