Tag Archives: postal

When the Tooth Fairy Goes Postal

A kid from Philly got a nasty letter from the “The Offices of Tooth and Fairy, LLC — Tooth Adjusters,” re- payment of fourth molar.
Here it is in full.

“Dear Elliott,

Thank you for the return of your fourth molar. Here is payment upon receipt, the agreed-upon sum of $5.00 (five American dollars).

By leaving your tooth out for one of our Tooth Adjusters, you, the toothee, have entered into a contractual obligation to perform measured work, herein known as Chores. Please see the attached addendum for an updated list of these chores.

We have been notified by your Parental units that these obligations have frequently gone uncompleted, and often have to be requested multiple times before they are, in fact, done. If these obligations are not fully completed, without demand, in the specified time frame (every day after school or camp), we will have no recourse but to repossess all of your remaining teeth, by force if necessary, with no repayment to you.

The most comfortable solution for all three parties involved (Tooth Adjusters, Toothee, and Parental Units) is for you, the toothee, to do your Chores as expected, on time, every day. Do not make us come and take your teeth.

Warm regards,

The Offices of Tooth and Fairy, LLC — Tooth Adjusters”

4 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious

Never Deny a Man Toilet Paper

A man from Charlotte, North Carolina, who couldn’t wipe his bum because there was no toilet paper in his hotel room got all postal and caused $2,000 worth of damage. Shit!

7 Comments

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!

Gone Postal For Christmas

OMG, a one legged man with a craving for pizza has taken 5 people hostage at a small rural Post Office in western Virginia. It is believed three of the hostages are employees and the other two are customers. The hostage negotiators are on the phone with the wheelchair bound man as we speak and he’s told them there is a car full of explosives outside. Kaboom! His only demand so far is a pizza.

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, Well I Never

Well If It Isn’t You It Must Be….

Everybody panic!!

Well lookie here, the latest Rasmussen Report claims 26% of employed adults in America have worked with someone they thought could go postal. That’s right people, over a quarter of you think someone in your workplace is capable of mass violence. The highest percentage  come from the government sector, surprise,surprise!

Psst
Want to troll through all the findings? Rasmussen Reports.

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Research, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser