Seriously, when a couple has trouble conceiving it’s usually resolvable. Enter a Chinese couple. They go to their doc because they are just can’t fall pregnant, no matter how hard they try. They tell the obstetrician they have been trying for 4 years but so far nothing. Other than the wife complaining that it was very painful having sex nothing else seemed to be amiss…..until….the full examination. The doc discovers, to his astonishment, the woman is a virgin. How could that possibly be? After quizzing the couple he discovered the problem, apparently, the ignorant couple had been having anal sex. What the hell!!! Yep, they had no clue. Love to have been a fly on that wall. Back to the drawing board.
When 275 women and children were rescued from a Boko Haram camp on the weekend, the true horror of their kidnappings were realised. Over 200 of the women were visibly pregnant…raped and abused by the Nigerian terrorist group. Now, they not only have to deal with the trauma of carrying a child by their tormentors but the fear of being outcasts in society.
Oh what? A Romanian woman who went to hospital to have a baby was left shocked after it was discovered she wasn’t pregnant at all but had been carrying around a 5kg tumor in her uterus for 9 months. The devastated woman had been told by her local doctor that she was pregnant. I smell a malpractice law suit right there.
Oh dear, guess what happened when a group of schoolgirls went on a five day school trip to Sarajevo? Seven of the 25 girls got pregnant. The girls, aged between 13 and 15, were suppose to be visiting historic sites and museums but must have been visiting more than just that. Despite the parents demanding an explanation the school is blaming the parent for not educating their kiddies better.
Listen up guys. If you are trying to pass a drug test do not use your wife’s urine or you might be confronted with “congratulations you’re pregnant”….just saying. An Egyptian bus driver , who was unaware his wife was pregnant , tried to fool the Public Transportation Authority officials during a routine check…..surprise.
PSST Unemployed driver with a baby on the way looking for a job.
OMG, a four year old has been banned from a doughnut shop in Connecticut because …wait for it… he asked a random woman if she had a “baby in her belly?” Awks. Seems she was just fat. The mother of the precious little snowflake said the next time they went to the shop the manager told her her child was not welcome because he was “rude”. Oh for crying out loud, when I was a little loon I asked a man at a restuarant why didn’t he have any hair!
A nun in Italy got a surprise little Chrissie present when she gave birth to a baby boy. The poor thing didn’t even know she was pregnant (obviously thought she was just getting fat) but when she was taken to hospital with stomach pains it was revealed she was about to have a baby. The little boy was named Francis after the Pope but that hasn’t helped her from getting the boot from her convent. Pack your bags honey, you broke the chastity vow. Seems Mother Superior is rather miffed that the nun couldn’t resist temptation claiming the wayward soul got jiggy with it when she returned to El Salvador to visit her family. The local community have been passing around the collection bowl for the new family.
Psst At least they didn’t use the immaculate conception excuse.
Sure, I can squeeze you in.
Tavon ‘Bulldog’ White got his thing happening down at the Baltimore jail. The dude, who happens to be an inmate, not only got four female prison guards pregnant he smooth talked at least 13 into helping him smuggle marijuana, prescription pills and mobile phones into the jail. Dawg damn is he good. His trick? He showered the female guards with expensive gifts. One even got herself a diamond ring. Unfortunately for old Bulldog White his little ruse is up and now he, and 25 others are facing charges. Awkward for the four female guards who got five kids by him and the two who have “Tavon” tattoos…. just saying.
Psst That is one nasty family tree right there.
A Korean’s got my babies!!!!
OMG, step away from the calamari. Evidently a South Korean woman became pregnant in the mouth with 12 baby squid after chomping on a sperm sack. A true octomom. The woman was merrily eating some cooked squid when she felt a pain in her mouth. Later, when she decided to go to the hospital doctors discovered ‘bug-like organisms’ attached to her gums, tongue and cheek. Dear lord. Note to self, make sure when eating calamari to ask if its internal organs have been removed. I don’t want no spermatophores in my mouth thank you very much!!!! Lucky she didn’t swallow!
Of course you want source with that!
Fat and pregnant? No worries. UK doctors are giving overweight pregnant women diabetes pills to stop them producing chubby offsprings. So far 400 fat women have been prescribed metformin in the world first trial. Hmm, what could possibly go wrong?
Want sauce with that?