Tag Archives: priest

Way to Get Suspended

A Filipino priest got himself in some hell fire by the Catholic Church after he was busted giving a Christmas service on a Hoverboard. Evidently, it was a violation of the ‘highest form of worship.’ The coolest priest ever,  has now been suspended so he can have time to reflect on his ungodly behaviour.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Hot Line to Hell

priestThis is not what you want. A Polish priest is being harassed by the devil on his cell phone after a failed exorcism on a girl. Yep, Satan has been texting him nasty little messages via the girl. The priest believes that the devil has possessed her soul and is now taunting him via her phones. Oh yes Loons, he is responding to the texts.

Psst The priest should ask him if it is hot there!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Holy Communion

OMG. An Irish Catholic priest has some explaining to do after explicit gay porn images appeared on his slideshow presentation about school children’s first Confessions. Oh well, he should be grateful for small mercies that it was only the parents of St Mary’s Primary School who witnessed it. Evidently the offending photos were on a memory stick he used.Witnesses say he “bolted out of the room” when he saw what was up on the screen. The priest is of course denying he had any knowledge of the porn. Hmm, so would I!!!

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Baptism Tragedy

OK, here’s the thing, when baptizing a six week old baby make sure it doesn’t gulp down water and die. Moldovan police are investigating the incident which left a baby dead and a priest facing manslaughter charges. Relatives say the baby swallowed water while the priest dunked him three times in a water filled font.Twenty minutes later the child started bleeding from the nose and mouth and died. Sad.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit

Do You Swear On The Bible Father?

Waste Not, Want Not

Waste Not, Want Not

Of course there is drink driving loopholes for priests, too many masses and too much communion wine. An Italian priest is appealing his drink driving charges claiming it was the Holy Wine he had to drink during  4 separate masses that had tipped him over the limit. Hmm, must have been one hell of a mass because he registered 0.8 when the limit is 0.5. Despite his explanation the police revoked his drivers licence anyway…friggin atheists!

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Filed under Denial, How Embarrassing, Sore Loser, Whoops!

Look, Up In The Sky, It’s a

Oh dear God, what the hell was he thinking ? I was really hoping this story wasn’t going to get too much media coverage as I wanted this story all to myself. But alas I was wrong. I switch on the news to catch a glimpse of Reverend Adelir de Carli’s feet dangling from a bunch of helium balloons as he floated off into a thick blanket of pollution . Not even the Darwin Awards would have seen this one coming. This crazy Roman Catholic priest from Brazil was out to break some record in the name of charity. But unfortunately not even his GPS and satellite phone could save him from the big gusts of wind that blew him (and his thousand balloons) to kingdom come. Last reports were, a search party had found millions of colorful pieces of rubber floating off the coast of Santa Catarina. It is believed he had reached heights of up to 20,000ft (6,000m), then descended to about 8,200ft (2,500m). In the last radio contact Rev Carli said he was cold. Planes and helicopters from the Brazilian air force and boats from the Brazilian navy our out looking for him. Can you imagine what they thought when they got the message ‘looking for a Roman Catholic priest in a chair attached with 1,000 balloons, last seen being blowing out to sea.’ Friggin funny.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Loon Award