Tag Archives: Prince Albert

Albert’s In The Doghouse

Egads, did anyone watch the sad, sad, fairytale horror film  that was Prince Albert of Monaco’s wedding? The bride was in tears and her groom had a face like thunder. It was worse than awkward. Rumor has it Charlene had discovered just prior to the nuptials that Albert had been screwing around during their engagement and may have got the other woman preggers. Good grief!  How many friggin DNA tests can a prince be force to take for goodness sakes? Anywho, seems poor Charlene tried to bolt several times before the wedding but was foiled each time by Monaco minders. You see Albert needs an heir quick smart or he won’t have anyone to succeed him.Hmm, seems his 4 2 illegitimate kiddies don’t count!  So Charlene was the lucky soul assigned to producing the offspring. But now that she is really, really, pissed off with him I don’t think there will be no  pitter patter of tiny little feet  anytime soon unless they go IVF. Oh and don’t be thinking she could be wooed out of her disgust by spending their honeymoon at the $3,400 a night presidential suite at the luxury Oyster Box Hotel in South Africa. Nope, seems they scrapped that plan. Charlene downsized to a cheaper room and Albert packed his bags and headed to the Hilton 16kms down the road. Welcome to married life Albert!

 

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Click At Your Own Risk

Oh dear god, I decided to Google “Prince Albert” following the farcical royal wedding. Anywho, imagine my shock/horror when the first thing that came up was… Prince Albert (genital piercing) Wikipedia. Well of course I clicked the link. Holy crap, WTF? Do not and I repeat do not click the link if you have a large monitor, you don’t want to come face to face with what I saw! My eyes, my eyes! After recovering my composure, I read on because I wanted to know why on earth such a thing would be named a Prince Albert. Well as urban legend goes it is rumored Prince Albert invented the piercing in order to “tame the appearance of his large penis in tight trousers.” Sheez, no wonder Charlene Wittstock was crying her little eyes out down the aisle!

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never