Tag Archives: Prince Andrew

Royal Blush

Coffin sold with skeletal remainsPrince Andrew is flying home from a skiing holiday to face his mummy over the latest Royal under age sex scandal.  I’m guessing he’s been dodging the bullet for awhile. Quick PR people, throw Kate , Wills and George back out into the public arena or throw Fergie back under the bus ….. anything!!!!

 

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Fergie’s Back

What shall I possibly wear?

What shall I possibly wear?

The British rumor mill is alive with whispers Fergie and Prince Andrew are getting married again. Sheez, no wonder the Queen is doing a backflip.The couple have been divorced for some 17 years but have kinda still been living under the same roof ever since Fergie blew her dough. Royal fasionistas are cringing as we speak.

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It’s a Royal Knockout

Poor old Prince Andrew has had to quit his role as UK Special Representative for International Trade and Investment (a title he gave himself) due to his inability to hang with the right crowd. The cushy job, which saw him spend millions of taxpayers’ money to fly around the world on private jets, has ceased to be. Hmm probably due in part to his connections with a Libyan gun smuggler , a pedophile and Colonel Gaddafi’s son Saif (who allegedly discussed the release of the Lockerbie bomber). Plus I’m guessing his daughter’s hideous hat at the Royal wedding didn’t help matters. Anywho don’t despair, Prince Andrew is currently making up a new title for himself so he can continue his good work. Hmm, how’s about UK Special Representative for Useless Member of the Royal Family?

Psst Word out on the street is there could be a tell all book coming out soon .

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Duchess of Porkies

Holy Sloan Ranger Batman, Fergie (aka Duchess of York) is in the biggest pile of doo-dah since her toe sucking days. In a Countess of Wessexesque style move, Fergie has been duped by a newspaper (will they ever learn?). Yep the poor gullible ex royal was caught on tape offering to sell access to her ex for £500,000 to an undercover reporter. Oblivious to the News Of The World sting, Fergie can be seen and friggin heard negotiating with a “pretend” businessman about the price of the set up. She also insisted that she received 1% commission from all deals made as a result of her royal connections. Oh ah. She then goes on to say that Prince Andrew (who works as a special representative for the government agency UK Trade & Investment) would be a willing business partner “Look after me and he’ll look after you … you’ll get it back tenfold. I can open any door you want,” Awkward. Geez, in the good old days it would have been “off with her head!” Hmm, I wouldn’t be expecting any more invites to royal functions anytime soon.

Psst Want to really cringe? Check out Fergie on film as she makes the deal.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, How Embarrassing, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Royal Hit and Run

Yeah, sorry mom I fucked up!

Oh for goodness sakes Prince Andrew it isn’t like you have a real job or anything….you should stop when you friggin hit someone with your 4×4 . Oooh, I bet the Queen  reached for an icepack after her favorite son allegedly hit a uniformed policeman with his SUV and didn’t even bother stopping. The cop in question intervened when he saw the Prince racing towards the gates of Buckingham Palace at full pelt at the same time two Japanese tourists were walking past (oblivious to the impending danger). He suffered and arm injury over his heroics, despite the prince not even so much as braking as he continued on his merry way. I guess the Royal PR people will be working overtime tonight. Get out the royal rug, we are in for some sweeping!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!