Tag Archives: prince william

Were The Royal Family Informed?

Color me cynical but I did raise an eyebrow when the Royal Family announced that Prince William would be delaying his honeymoon. I thought agents may have been worried that there was a  plot afoot to ruin his fairytale. Hmm, I’m now guessing the MI5 got wind of the US mission to bump off Osama Bin Laden and didn’t want the future King of England to be gallivanting overseas in the aftermath. Could this also be the real reason while president Obama was not invited to the Royal Wedding? Hello, what a perfect time to strike, when half the world were watching the nuptials !

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Royal Wedding Review

Yes, the loon watched the Royal Wedding. For some reason I was captivated by Will’s bald spot, no matter how hard I tried I kept staring.  Also fascinating was Elton John’s inability to know the words to any of the hymns sang. Fergie’s kids had rather hideous hats. Chelsea got a bummer seat, plonked next to someone she air-kissed. Harry looked bored. Beckham wore his OBE medal on the wrong side. Hmm, I swear Kate choked over the word “poorer” during the “richer for poorer” spiel . Oooh and that ring looked like it wasn’t gonna fit. You twist not push Will!!!! Mommy Middleton looked like the cat who swallowed the canary while hubby just sweated profusely! Everyone got a royal welcome except for Charles and Camilla (not crowd pleasers). Poor darl must be still spitting chips she was married at a registry office!

Psst Rumors are that Kate will place her wedding bouquet on Princess Diana’s grave.

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Nation Mourns Christchurch Earthquake

Mother nature has not been kind in recent months and today a nation mourned the loss of over 180 souls taken too soon. Prince William, who uncannily looked like his mother in body language and genuine warmth, attended the Christchurch Earthquake Memorial but I think the highlight would have to be Christchurch  born and bred Haley Westernra, who performed an  impromptu Pokarekare Ana at the end of the service. Unfrigginbelievable.

Psst Her impromptu Pokarekare Ana, hasn’t surfaced on Youtube yet but Amazing Grace did …

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Random Wants Invite To Royal Wedding

What to do?

How far would you go to get an invite to Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding? Well, some Mexican teenager is on a friggin hunger strike demanding an invitation. Yep, you heard me, hunger strike! Estibalis Chavez (19) has been plonked herself in front of the British Embassy in Mexico City (with her tent) for 9 days (so far) and is refusing to eat a thing until she gets her own way. Sheez, as if Estibalis, do you have any idea how long Kate had to friggin wait just to get Will’s  mummy’s ring on her finger?

Psst Hmm, guess she won’t be needing one of these Royal Wedding Sick Bags then.

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You Can Choose Your Friends

Dear god no!

I’m sorry but you are going to have to be someone more important than just being the parents of the bride to get an invite from the Queen, Mr and Mrs Middleton. A palace spokesperson said the Queen ” “has not felt the need” to meet the future in-laws of her grandson Prince William and therefore won’t be doing so before the wedding. In other words the Queen doesn’t do commoners.

Want sauce with that?

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Hello, That Ain’t No Fairy Tale!!!!!

Kat darls, how's about another beer?

Oh dear god you poor biatch, Prince William and Kate Middleton has vowed they he won’t be having no butlers or household staff after they tie the knot. Hmm, which means only one thing….Kate, you’re a glorified housewife. Hmm, see, this is what happens when they marry a commoner! Might want to request white goods for pressies and a nice big hoover.Geez, it was bad enough you got a recycled ring now you are losing all the friggin perks of being a princess. Sweetie, it ain’t too late to change your mind, those friggin teatowels haven’t been  printed yet!!! I hear being a WAG has it’s perks.

Psst Damn you, now every time I spy a photo of them I’ll be looking for any signs of shrinkage, iron marks, uneven creases and pink undies.

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How do you know the Royal family hates you?

When the Queen approves your official commemorative coin marking your engagement to her grandson and it looks like crap, that’s how. Sheez, Kate must have choked on her cucumber sandwich when her soon to be granny-in-law gave the coin the of tick approval .The image  looks nothing friggin like her, with her nose heading west and her hair looking like she just stepped out of the shower.  Oh and Blimey, William has been given a full head of hair and an enormous Adam’s apple with the main feature seeming to be his ear.

Psst Is it just me or does the image look more like Harry’s ex Chelsea?

I'm just saying!

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Bishop Gets Defriended

It's not like they got a good track record!

Sheez, you give a prominent Church of England bishop a Facebook account and what does he do? Friggin sledges Willie and Kates marriage, that’s what. Reverend Pete Broadbent (58), an avid Facebook user, has raised a few royal eyebrows with his recent posts. In one rant he gives the marriage of the “shallow celebrities” (that will be Willie and Kate) 7 years tops, believing the “gutter press” will set it up to fail. He also has a bitch about Charles and Diana’s doomed nuptials and the British royalty in general “Talent isn’t passed on through people’s bloodstock. The hereditary principle is corrupt and sexist.” Hmm, I might have to poke the old sod.

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Royal Engagement Facebook Fail

Seems it didn’t take long for the Queen of England to master Facebook after all.

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Prince William Peeing

Oh for crying out loud people, the minute Prince William announces his marriage, everyfrigginone is searching for a photo of Willie’s family jewels. What is wrong with you people? Anywho,  YES,  my “Prince William Naked” post (from last year) has hit pay dirt. So if you missed out the first time click here “Prince William’s Willie” to see what Kate’s all smiles about. Don’t click if you are easily offended….I did warn you!

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