What would you do to escape from prison? Hmm, well I’m guessing it wouldn’t involve crawling through a communal toilet. Unfortunately for the Brazilian prisoner who slid through excrement and urine to make his great escape, he was caught and thrown back in his cell still caked in it. Oh the humanity.
Tag Archives: prisoner
Shawstank Redemption
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross
Shawshank Fail
Oh bless, a murderer attempted to escape from one of Australia’s maximum security prisons by burrowing a tunnel . He was 100m from freedom when he was sprung. Come on man, you need to lift your game. The dudes in the US managed to Shawshank….yeah sure, one got shot dead and the other now leaks like a sieve but at least they are known as the dudes who escaped. What you need is a disgruntled female prison wa…. oh never mind.
Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Whoops!
Tattoo Fail
Didn’t mean to laugh but a silly billy prisoner who decided to carve a tattoo of 666 on his forehead forgot he was doing it in a mirror so of course the numbers are backward. His forehead now features three upside down 9s. Awks.
Filed under Friggin Dumbass
Pull Another One
A Swiss prisoner who had the almighiest of toothaches, but was denied treatment, escaped from a minimum security facility to see his dentist. Once his tooth was pulled he contacted police and they returned him to his cell. He only got an additional day added to his original one month sentence.
Filed under Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt
Shawfat Redemption
The moral of this story is if you plan a jail break make sure your belly can fit through the hole. Awkward for a one Brazilian prisoner who found himself wedged in a concrete wall after his much skinnier accomplice slipped through and took off. While prison officers merrily took snaps firefighters had to use sledgehammers to free him.
Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!
Prisoner Escapes in His Undies
Attention loons in Hiroshima, be on the look out for a prison escapee. He should be easy to spot, he is wearing only white undies. This is Japan’s first jailbreak in more than 20 years and they are really pissed. Li Guolin stripped off in the prison yard before using builders scaffolding to scale the 5m perimeter fence. A security guard said Li “fell on his rear and turned over. Then he ran off at a steady trot.” Li is serving 23 years for attempted murder. Sheez, you’d be unlucky to get half of that for murder in Oz. Authorities have allocated 800 police officers to find the dude in the white undies. Good luck with that.
Filed under Friggin Japan, Well I Never
Move Over Friztl, We Have a New Dungeon Master
Brazilian man Joao Batista Groppo had allegedly been keeping his wife, Sebastiana, locked up in a cellar for 16 years. She was discovered lying starkers in a corner of the cellar with just a blanket after police received a tip-off. Hmm, 16 years and they finally get a tip-off? The room was evidently covered in feces and crawling with roaches. Groppo, who had been married to Sebastiana for 40 years, told police she was mentally ill. Alrighty then, so that would explain the girlfriend (Maria Aparecida Furquim) he had living upstairs. Both Groppo and Furquim have been charged with illegal imprisonment.
Psst So for 16 years who did the dishes?