Tag Archives: prisoner

Such Is Life

What’s the definition of ironic? When a  inmate has his death sentence commuted to life and then goes and hangs himself a week later.70 year old George Smithey was convicted of murder, robbery and attempted rape in 1988 and sentence to death. However after his sentence was  commuted to life, due to mental retardation, he used his bed sheet to end it all.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Let Me Out

OK here’s the thing Mr Judge, if you discover that a prisoner who has been locked up for 27 years is friggin innocent, let him go! Michael Green has been told he will have to wait an extra day before being released because the Dallas court wants to give him time to compose himself so he doesn’t freak out. WTF! Green was sentenced to 75 years jail for a 1983 kidnapping and sexual assault of a woman when he was 18 years old but recent DNA testing proved it wasn’t him. He’s angry, his family are angry and he just wants out!

Psst Irony alert….Green would have been up for parole in October anyways.

2nd Psst Due to the the statute of limitations the 4 other suspects won’t be charged with the crime.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Naked Shackled Guy’s Small Adventure

Not my smartest idea!

OK, here’s the thing naked inmate wearing only socks, better luck next time. Bradley Norris tried the old, “can I go to the toilet trick”, after being transferred to Lake Wales Hospital in Florida. A smart thinking deputy shackled his ankles together first and a good thing she did because the moment he got out of bed he attacked her. In the ensuing fight Norris’s gown was ripped off his body but that didn’t stop him fleeing the room naked except for his socks.Sheez, how far can a naked, shackled guy get people? Answer- not very. Those friggin socks can be slippery!!!!

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, How Embarrassing, Well I Never, Whoops!

Oh No, Not The Hot Sauce Bottle!

Oh for goodness sakes, an inmate at the Noble Correctional Facility in Caldwell (Ohio) has had to have surgery to remove a hot-sauce bottle from his butt. OK, OK, I know what you are thinking, he picked up the soap! But No. Evidently, despite originally claiming he had been assaulted in a shower he later retracted the story and said he had done it himself. Oh dear, apparently he was using the bottle as a sex device before it became stuck. There’s a nice medical bill for the taxpayers.

Psst I hope he left the lid on, otherwise extra ouch!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, How Embarrassing, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

The Sweet Smell Of Success

My bad?

OK it’s official, no more intentional farting in a Swedish jail. Yes, after guards filed numerous complaints against a prisoner who used farts to voice his disapproval, the flatulence offender has been issued with an official warning. One more time mister and you face punishment.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Shawwank Redemption

You understand don't you?

Oh for crying out loud Penthouse, why don’t you deliver to prisons? A Florida prisoner is so friggin angry he is suing the mag because they refuse to send him his subscription to the big house. Jorge Niebla wrote in his 2 page, handwritten block letter suit that the Penthouse staff were being prejudiced and didn’t respect his basic rights. Hmm, Niebla is serving 13 years for kidnapping and armed robbery, which sounds to me like a whole lot of basic rights violations as well.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Ping Pong Players Have Feelings!

I don't know, something about ping pong!

I don't know, something about ping pong!

Hmm, well if you are ever going to jail, pick Sweden people! Some inmate has just been awarded $2,700 in compo for hurting his little finger during a prison  ping pong game. After he put in a claim, bippity boppity boo, they concluded he suffered pain, injury and scarring and was therefore rightfully due his financial compensation. See, that’s what I am talking about! Brilliant.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never