Stiff Luck

Oh dear, big time awks for the Chinese prostitute whose elderly customer died while they were having sex. Seems she got stuck on his….oh never mind. They both got wheeled out on a hospital stretcher presumably to get it removed. Good luck with that. What a dinner party tale she will have to tell.

For Two Years She Had No Complaints

You seem rather chipper, Henry?

A 42 year old Romanian woman has been busted for turning tricks at an old folks home in Italy. Seems she had once worked at the assisted living facility but when she fell on hard times and they allowed her to live there rent free unaware she was actually a prostitute. Police caught her out during an investigation into some hanky panky at a nearby hotel.

Can’t Take A Trick

Pawning your wedding ring for $20 to pay for a prostitute is no way to go through life son,  especially when you get caught by cops. Might have a lot of explaining to do to your missus….just sayin. Hmm, I don’t know which is the saddest, getting only 20 bucks for the ring, spending it on a $20 hooker or getting caught?

Want sauce with that?

The Prostitute Turned Into A Donkey Your Honor

No, no, no, officer I swear a minute ago she was a prostitute. A man in Zimbabwe caught having sex with a donkey claims the beast was a hooker he had picked up at a nightclub. Sunday Moyo told the court he had paid for a prostitute in a downtown club but has no idea how she suddenly changed into a donkey during their heated sex session. Police claim they spotted Moyo mounting the beast while on routine patrol. Oh but it gets better, Moyo  thinks he’s fallen in love with the donkey and now believes he might be a donkey too. Hmm, more like an ass! Enter phychiatrist!

Is This The Year Of The Rat?

Nice tush!

Heavens to murgatroyd, what does one do when their brothel gets raided by Chinese police? Run!!! Poor dude had no time to whip on his clothes as police came a knocking so he fled starkers down the side of a building. Evidently the prostitute wasn’t far behind him (except she wore a towel).

Wants sauce with that and more photos?

Sorry Daddy

Oh my, there must be worse things than getting busted trying to buy a $20 prostitute for your elderly dad? Hmm, I can’t think of any right at this moment but I’m sure there must be! Yep, poor Pia Kirchberg was on the prowl in Tampa, Florida, looking for a woman of the night to service her 80 year old father, Maurice Kirchberg, but unfortunately found an undercover officer instead. That’s an arresting right there (for both of them).

Psst Sheez, $20 hooker, is the economy that bad?

Who Could It Be Now?

OK don on your deerstalkers loons, we have a mystery to solve. Last week I didn’t bothered to write about the gag order a judge gave to all media in Britain to stop the naming of a well known (and supposedly happily married) actor who slept with prostitute Helen Wood (Yep,  of  Wayne Rooney fame). I didn’t particular care  who, what, where or how (OK, how could have been interesting) though I  did think it was strange a court could have such power. Anywho, now I discover that Wikipedia did a Wikileaks and named him. OK, someone who added content outed him and not just once, but each time the entry was deleted (bet it was probably his pissed off wife). The entry has disappeared again and  see now,  curiosity is killing the cat. Who the hell was it? Hmm, I can’t think of a well known British actor who is happily married for starters!

The Sheen Keeps Rubbing Off

How many times do we have to do this scene?

Oh for crying out loud Charlie, if you continue abusing drugs while trashing a hotel room naked with a prostitute hiding in the closet, there is a high probability they will rename the show One and a half men. Charlie Sheen, who was suppose to be spending quality time with his kiddies in New York, has found himself in hospital  with what his reps say was an “allergic” reaction to medication …in otherwords cocaine and alcohol. The incident allegedly occured after Mr Sheen couldn’t find his wallet or cellphone and had a hissy fit. Exit naked escort into closet while Sheen trashed the room.Denise Richards and their little snowflakes were also staying at the Plaza Hotel during the rampage but were thankfully in a different room because otherwise that would have been awkward!

Dumbass 911 Caller Of The Week

And the winner of the 911 dumbass call of the week goes to the prostitute who rang the emergency line after her customer refused to pay for her services. Hate it when that happens! Megan Taylor originally told the dispatcher that hostages were being held at gunpoint (to get their asses in action) but when police arrived they found two hard done by pros.

I Could Have Sworn I Saw Your Wife….

Oh boy, imagine after 10 years of marriage discovering your wife is a prostitute? Sheez! Poor Mike Weatherley, a Conservative Party politician, who campaigned with British Prime Minister David Cameron, had no idea his Brazilian wife Carla had been working in massage parlors in England under the names Adriana, Bianca and Bea. Hello, £70-an-hour is nothing to sneeze at! Oh well, now he does.Hmm, I suppose there’s worse things to be, like  a politician.

Psst Mike and his wife have been separated since February.