Tag Archives: Putin

Should We Be Worried?

Old Vlad Putin has ordered all Russians abroad to return home. Hmm, this doesn’t sound good. Especially after the nation had a mega training drill on how to survive man made or natural disasters last week. Is he not telling us something?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Assassination Attempt?

When Putin’s presidential BMW gets taken out by a wayward Merc you would have to be suspicious right? The Russian president’s favourite official driver was killed instantly when the Putin-less car was hit head on for no apparent reason. Fortunately or unfortunately the driver of the Merc survived and is currently in hospital.

 

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Filed under Whoops!

Putin Puts NASA in a Spin

NASA says to pray if a large asteroid heads to earth  Forget Ukraine, seems Putin wants the universe. Nervous observers fear a new Russian satellite, which is behaving strangely, might be designed to attack or jam other satellites. Named Kosmos 2499 by the Russians, the satellite is sending out strange signals and is shifting orbits in a very precise series of moves. The US have now placed it on their suspicious objects list, which means absolutely nothing.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

Has Anyone Got A Russian Dictionary I Could Borrow?

samuraiHoly crap Abbott , what the hell did you say? Seems the little chinwag with Putin about the MH17 kaboom has enraged the Russian leader. Four warships are reportedly heading Down Under in a short man syndrome attempt to scare the beejezzus out of us. Well, we should send our Frigates out there to give them some Vegemite and  some cute cuddly koala toys, that should hold them at bay for awhile. Alternatively, we could tell them that cane toads taste like black caviar and off load a few crates of them. Those invasive little critters would be no match  we’d would have control of Russia in a month!

Psst Relax, evidently they are here for the G20 meeting in Queensland. Putin likes to show off his wears.

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Filed under Well I Never

RasPutin

sherlock 2OK, note to self, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT, pull the piss on Putin. A well known Russian actor Alexei Devotchenko did and he’s dead. Devotchenko was found lying in an enormous pool of blood in his apartment. Alexei was a very outspoken opponent of the Russian ruler often criticizing him in his blog posts. It wasn’t the first time the actor has been targeted. He was almost killed in an attack in a metro station in Moscow in 2012. Russian authorities deny his murder has anything to do with them. As you would.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Katyagate

I thought she loved me!!!!

The world of espionage is alive and kicking, if the 19 year old relatively unknown Russian model, Ekaterina “Katya” Gerasimova, is to believed. Seems she’s a secret agent for the Kremlin (aka Mr Putin) with the sole aim of luring government critics into embarrassing sex traps. Hmm, seems to be working. Six suckers have already seen the inside of her Moscow flat and bed ( paid for by the secret service). Too bad it’s rigged with sophisticated recording devices. Isn’t that right Mikhail Fishman (editor of Russian Newsweek), who was taped snorting cocaine as Katya walked around naked.

Psst So I am guessing all the gay critics are safe?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, How Embarrassing, Well I Never, Whoops!