Tag Archives: Qantas

I’ll Drink To That

A dude flying from Melbourne to Perth checked in his luggage…one can of Emu Export beer. Unsure if his precious cargo would arrive he was delighted when he made his way to the luggage claim and saw people laughing and taking out their phones.  He later told reporters …“Sure enough there she was, alone on the carousel proudly making her way around. And there I was in my flanno and RMs to greet her. It was perfection.”

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

Frequent Flyer?

The boss of the flying kangaroo got a flying lemon meringue in the kisser during a Leadership conference in Perth. Alan Joyce, the head of Qantas, didn’t see this coming. The culprit is a religious man who hid for hours to unleash his fury at corporations making comments about marriage equality.    Needless to say he is in the doghouse, especially with his wife who had no idea what he was up to.

PSST: Alan Joyce is openly gay

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Filed under Well I Never, Whoops!

Loon Is In The Lounge

Ok for 18 hours I will be in the air. Sydney-LA- NYC . So behave loons while I am flapping around. Currently lounging in the Qantas lounge ….



Filed under Friggin Awesome

Come On Honey, We Don’t Do Flannel

Two irate first class  passengers delayed a QANTAS flight from LA to Melbourne because the crew was unable to find them XL-sized first-class pajamas for their flight. Despite being offered  inferior Business Class pj’s the two opted to have their luggage offloaded and catch another flight.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Flying High

Attention frequent flyer travelers, more cracks found in the wings of A380s. Just putting it out there!!!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

Cracks Beginning To Show In The A380s

No need to panic travellers, but it seems QANTAS have found cracks in the wing ribs of some of their A380 superjumbos. OMG, here is what  QANTAS has to say  “No immediate action is required by A380 operators because the cracking presents no risk whatsoever to flight safety,” Seriously?  Hello, I’m not even allowed to fly if I have a crack in my rib!!!! Singapore Airlines have found similar cracks in their A380s. But don’t you fear  people, the airlines say all cracks have been patched. Reassuring.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

Qantas is Back!!!

Qantas is back! Yep, Emu airlines, the fleet that refused to fly due to a squabble with unions has finally found its wings after leaving 22,000 passengers stranded around the world. So who is the winner out of all this, Qantas or the unions? Hmm, who the hell knows, they are all claiming some sort of victory. What I do know is who the losers are.  Firstly, the poor passengers who were used as pawns in this little ongoing battle, Australian tourism and the thousands of Australian Qantas staff who are more than likely going to see their jobs taken over by workers in Asia. There goes the “Spirit of Australia” right down the dunny.  As for  Fair Work Australia and the Unions, you might want to sleep with one eye open from now on because I suspect more big corporates will be following in Qantas’s footsteps. Poor union loving Gillard, now what?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !

Qantas and the Big Bang

You know what I hate? When a Qantas super jumbo’s engine explodes and metal rains down from the sky over Indonesia (including the Qantas “flying kangaroo” emblem). I really friggin hate that. Passengers aboard the Airbus 380 were WTFing about six minutes after taking off from Singapore when a massive kaboom rattled the cabin. They alerted cabin staff who notified the pilot.Eyewitnesses on the ground said they heard a loud explosion and then saw metal falling from the sky.It is believed an engine exploded. All Qantas A380 aircrafts have been suspended until further notice.

Psst The plane landed safely back at Singapore airport to the relief of the  433 passengers and 26 crew.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Could You Make Me Want My Airline Dinner Anymore?

Come on people, we wash them thoroughly

WTF, news just in, Air New Zealand reuses it’s plastic cutlery up to 10 times before they are chucked away.Oh wait, but there is more, Qantas reportedly use their plastic knives, forks and spoons up to 30 times. Hmm, I’m sorry, but when my cutlery comes in sealed plastic bag, I’m assuming they are brand spanking new.


Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Like I needed To Know This!

The dream!

Look away loons who are about to fly, you don’t want to be reading this. Pilot Bryan Griffin won £97,000 in compensation from Qantas after they failed to realize he was mentally unfit to fly a plane. Problem? He had overwhelming urges to crash the friggin planes he was flying into the ground. WTF! Yes, Mr Griffin “the pilot” had such strong compulsions on several occasions he had tried to cut the engines but instead left the flight deck to calm down. He also had urges to scream, ignore instructions and miss radio calls. Anywho, despite all of this several docs declared him fit to keep on flying. As the condition worsened he eventually resigned with with severe obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety and depression. Qantas are appealing the decision.


Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never