Attention all those people in Queens who thought those weird coloured pigeons were stunning parrot/pigeon hybrids, they ain’t. Nope, it seems they are really just the plain old basic pigeons that some clown has dyed. As you were.
Psst Some people have way too much time on their hands.
It's hard to open the fridge to get a beer!
Oh my, Robert McMinn and Jules Corkery have probably got high cholesterol and the stinkiest apartment in Queens after they decided to raise three chickens in their one bedroom apartment. Yep, it’s part of an urban organic food movement. The couple get about 6 eggs a week from their hens. It is suspected hundreds of people are raising chickens in the city. Hmm, you can probably tell from the scratch marks on their sofas.
Psst My chicken Gretel, stopped laying after watching Jerry Springer!
Huh, what ticket?
OMG, when 72 year old Milledge McCassell went to a deli in Queens to check his lottery ticket on the electric scanner he discovered he was a “Big Winner!”. All excited he handed over his ticket to the store worker to see how much he had won and that’s when everything got a little ugly. The worker told him he had won Jack and refused to give back the ticket.Poor old Milledge left but returned soon after demanding his ticket back. Now the worker had told him he had lost the ticket. Three friggin times the elderly man came back demanding his ticket before ringing police. Damn good thing he did because the bastard was going to claim the $14 million for himself. Yes, 14 friggin million.
Can the owner of the 2ft alligator found under a car in Queens please come and pick it up. Thank you.
OK firstly, I didn’t know what the hell “turkey slapped” meant. The family of a New York schoolgirl, who was dragged into the boy’s locker room by 7 classmates and then held down while they rubbed their crotches in her face, are suing. The 12 year old honor student, who is said to be now emotionally, psychologically and socially scarred, was walking towards the girl’s locker room when she was allegedly pounced upon by the boys and later turkey slapped. The suit claims the school in Queens failed to provide adequate supervision by security or teaching staff.
I don't know, something about a kite string.
OMG, a 12 year old boy from Queens, New York, nearly had his head lopped off by a friggin kite string. Jared Kopeloff was skateboarding near Flushing Meadows when he was hit in the throat by a glass encrusted wire from a downed kite which was hanging between two buildings. The razor sharp string, which is used for kite-fighting (you’ve read Kite Runner haven’t you?), cut a gash along his throat from ear to ear which required 400 stitches to close. The family are now suing New York City for allowing this hell dangerous sport to take place (kite-fighting, not skateboarding!). Damn straight!