Who Knew Fallen Trees Can Stand Back Up?

This I didn’t know. Beware loons if you came across a fallen tree. Evidently, they can spring back up and crush you, like some horror movie. Who friggin knew? A kid in Queensland is lucky to be alive after he was playing around a fallen tree when it sprang back up and crushed him under its roots. Fortunately, his quick thinking family members were able to use nearby vehicles and chains to lift the tree. He’s OK but had to nurse broken ribs and femur, two collapsed lungs and a squashed heart. Luckily, if a tree falls in Queensland you can hear a scream!

3D Crosswalks

Oh no, what could possibly go wrong? Queensland is about to introduce 3D crosswalks in an attempt to stop motorists plowing through pedestrians. Like that is a thing! OK, to slow them down at least. The crosswalks will give the impression that people are walking on blocks suspended in the air. Way to mess with motorist’s heads. Anywho, good luck with that.

Cyclone Debbie

As Queensland braces itself for cyclone Debbie, a massive category 4 cyclone, one business is making light of the deadly situation .

Look What The Cyclone Dragged In

LANDSHARKS!!!!!

I Hate My Life

You can understand, right ? Hello, it’s work!!!!!

The Loon Is On The Move Again

For the next few days the Loon will reporting from sunny rainy Queensland.

Chainsawing Pothead

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi. An Aussie guy cranked up a stolen chainsaw and whacked a flower pot on his head before robbing a 7-Eleven store in Queensland. Unfortunately the buzzing saw wasn’t enough to convince the store employees to hand over money so the dude mooned them and cut up a few display racks before fleeing with a bottle of soda. The police later found him walking down the street.

Vegetable Hating Baby Killer Gets Compo

Oh for crying out loud. A Queensland baby killer has been awarded a $3000 compensation payout because he was forced to eat vegetables in jail. The former butcher Raymond Akhtar Ali, who bashed his new born baby to death and dismembered her, claimed he was fed vegies instead of specially prepared halal meat for 4 months of his life sentence . Boo friggin hoo. The money has been popped into a trust that he can access when he’s released in a few years.  The sound you hear is the thud of my palm hitting my forehead.

Psst That money should have been donated to a Children’s hospital on behalf of the poor little bub who was murdered so other children can have a chance in life.

Want sauce with that?

Deadly Pet Escapes

Feet up Queenslanders, there is a King Cobra on the loose on the Gold Coast. Veteran snake catcher Tony Harrison received an anonymous call from a bloke concerned his escaped snake would attack someone. Initially Mr Harrison thought he was talking about a King Brown but the caller corrected him.  Oh for crying out loud , haven’t we got enough scary wildlife down under?

Psst Might want to sleep with both eyes open!!!

Compassionate Leave For Pets

A survey revealed that 74% of Pet owners in Queensland would like compassionate leave from work to mourn the death of their pets. Hmm, adds new meaning to “I’d kill to get a day off”…..where’s the cat?