Tag Archives: rabies

Free Rabid Kitties

Oh for crying out loud, attention all loons who patted, cuddled or have one of the six five kittens that were given away at an Atlanta  WalMart parking lot  a few weeks back.  Seems those cute little fluff balls are more like rabid spawns of hell. Yes, you heard me, they have friggin rabies. One of the kitties has been put down but there are 5 foaming felines still out there. Step away from the kitty!!!!

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Leave it To Beaver

A 51 year old Boy Scout leader from New York who was attacked by a rabid beaver (no, not one of NY housewives, silly!) while swimming in the Delaware River. How unlucky was that? Evidently the vicious little thing swam through the man’s legs and bit him in the chest, leg, buttocks, arm, hand and torso (ouch!) before he managed to grab the beaver and hold its mouth shut.  He then chucked it on shore where it was stoned to death by the scouts. A vet later confirmed it had rabies.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

Here, Kitty, Kitty …

Blahahah fooled ya!

Yeah, about that friendly grey cat that showed up at a neighborhood bonfire party last weekend that everyone was patting before it bit a guy on the ankle. Turns out it was a grey fox with rabies. Awkward.

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Bobcat Lessons 101

OK, here’s the thing people, if you hit a bobcat with your car and it lies injured on the median don’t go and try to comfort it because it’s gonna friggin bite you real hard. Bobcats are nasty like that! And we all know what happens when you are bitten by a bobcat, don’t we? Yes siree, that’s extensive rabies treatment for you lady!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

Cow Goes All Cujo on Farmer

Who you calling crazy?

A farmer from Atlanta, Georgia, was headbutted into a barbed wire fence by a 900lb rabid cow. OK, for starters I didn’t know cows could get rabies but anywho, the cow continued to go all Cujo on him so the farmer grabbed his gun and shot it three times. Which, by the way, did not kill it. The bovine was put down by a vet and the farmer is now considering quitting farming. Couldn’t write that in a script!

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife, That's Gotta Hurt

Monkey Business

Did you hear the one about a monkey breaking into a Florida home and biting a man on the ear while he was cooking? No? Well he did. The man was whipping up a meal when the monkey jumped on his shoulder. When he tried to shoo it off the damn thing bit him. Hmm, enjoying too much cooking wine were you? The monkey fled the scene and headed to the roof where he was eventually coaxed down by a Fire and Rescue official waving a banana. Meanwhile the man with the bleeding ear was taken to hospital as a  precaution for friggin rabies. No word on who owns the monkey.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Well That Stinks!

OK, here’s the thing family who think baby skunks are adorable, don’t be bringing it home as a pet if it’s got friggin rabies! The Iowa family had found the cute little baby skunk in their travels and decided to raise it as a pet. Sadly two weeks later it was dead. After a vet check it was confirmed it had rabies. Hmm, now lets see, that’s 5 rabies vaccination shots for each family member and over 20  shots for family  and friends who played with the skunk. The family dog unfortunately will be placed in quarantined for six months or euthanized. Good times.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Don’t Pat The Raccoons

A little word of warning to Central Park joggers, layabouts, muggers and picnickers, avoid the raccoons if you can, they are rabid. Yep, seems there has been a slight outbreak… hmm 114 cases this year to be exact.So if you see one, run!!! AND if they happen to chase you, run friggin faster!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife, They Live Among Us !

Nothin Ever Happens In Blum …. Until Now

Llama attacks a man in Blum

If I wanted to kill him, I would have!

OMG, when llama’s get rabies they can be nasty buggers, just ask James “Buzzy” Steele from Blum. Buzzy was out tending to his mates goats when Spanky the llama ran right up to him, knock him down, grabbed his leg and “went to jerking on me.” (don’t know what that fully means and probably don’t want to know, so lets just leave it at that!). Anywho, Spanky went friggin nuts dragging Buzzy around the paddock by the leg. That’s when the owner, Terry Flowers, who was smoking his pipe at the time stepped in “I cleared the fence and just started beating on him.” As they raced to hospital with Buzzy bleeding all over the place , he rang his missus who owns the Redneck Grill & Bar in Blum, and told her he had been attacked by a llama. She couldn’t understand what hubby was saying and thought he had been attacked by a lawn mower! Anywho, 700 stitches later Buzzy was sent home. Meanwhile, back at the farm, Spanky the crazy assed 6ft 300 plus lb llama was shot dead and his head sent to the state health department in Austin to be tested for rabies.Geez, it’s the biggest thing that has ever happened in Blum.

Psst Mr Flowers said that this was the first time Spanky has ever acted aggressively towards anyone …except “I have always heard they were spitters, but he never spit on anyone except for my sister — and if you knew my sister, you would understand why he spit on her.”

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Raccoon Gang Bash Granny

I don't know, something about a raccoon gang!

I don't know, something about a raccoon gang!

OMG, 74 year old Gretchen Whitted is lucky to be alive after she was “gang attacked” by friggin raccoons. Yes, that’s right, raccoons. Gretchen was shooing the gang from the front door when they suddenly turned on her. Gretchen fell down and the raccoons went in for the kill, kicking, biting, scratching and punching her.A neighbor, who heard the screams, ran to her aid but by then she had been virtually ripped to shreds. She was rushed to Lakeland Hospital in a serious conditon. Raccoons 5, Gretchen 0.

Psst Authorities fear the raccoons could be rabid and ask people in Florida to take extra care when shooing them!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife, That's Gotta Hurt