Tag Archives: radiation

Don’t Panic But Get The Hell Out!!!!!

The latest official warning in Japan’s nuclear nightmare has gone from “we now have a 30km exclusion zone” to “get the hell out of the country”.  Australian and US governments are telling their citizens to get out of Japan ASAP  as it looks more and more likely a meltdown is inevitable at the Fukushima nuclear plant.

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Hero Alert

As we all watch in horror as the nuclear tragedy unfolds in Japan, spare a thought for those emergency workers who are risking their lives to contain the overheating friggin reactors. The 50 anonymous technicians have been dubbed ” modern day samurai” and “suicide fighters” for their heroic efforts in trying to avert the inevitable. Despite radiation levels being at some friggin crazy high level, they continue to take it in turns running into the plant for 10-15 minutes to pump sea water on the overheating reactors, monitor them and clear all the shit from the explosions. The Japanese Prime Minister Naota Kan told the volunteers: “You are the only ones who can resolve a crisis. Retreat is unthinkable.”

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High Radiation Levels Recorded In Tokyo

Grab your radiation proof snuggies people, the Fuckushima Nuke plant has kaboomed and higher than normal radiation levels are being recorded in Tokyo, which is 250km (that’s 155miles Bearman!!!) from the reactor. Friggin nightmare!!!! Oh and if that isn’t enough to worry about, people in Southern California might want to have a spare suitcase packed. The San Onofre nuclear power generating station, which is built 5 miles from a  fault line, is only designed to withstand a 7.0 magnitude earthquake and its “tsunami wall” is only 25ft high. Those friggin Mayans!!!!

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Fears Over Nuclear Reactors

OK, no need to panic people of Japan but if you happen to live near a nuclear power plant, run!!!! Despite official reports that the plants are not leaking radiation, following the whopper earthquake, US air force personnel have been spotted delivering coolant. That can’t be good! Hmm, seems the problem is if the level of water drops in the pumps at the Fukushima reactor and can no longer cool the uranium then they could have a Chernobyl on their hands! As if they haven’t suffered enough!  Residents living in a 3 km radius have been told to evacuate, just in case. Evacuate to where?

UPDATE : The amount of radiation has reached 1,000 time the normal level in No 1 reactor and it is feared they may have to release radioactive steam into the air to ease pressure build up. Evacuations are underway.

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What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

I cant feel my wings!

I cant feel my wings!

Hmm, scientists think they have come up with the perfect solution to rid the world of malaria spreading mosquitoes. Standby..they are going to nuke them! Yep, zap them little suckers with radiation to make them as sterile as Michael Jackson’s face mask. The procedure known as SIT (Sterile Insect Technique) is basically a birth control for insects. Here’s the thing, they are going to round up all the male mosquitoes, zap their little wieners and set them loose amongst the unsuspecting virgin female insects (who will never know they are shooting blanks!). She’ll lay eggs that will never hatch, they will argue over whose fault it was and then both will die failures! Perfect. Then us humans can live happily ever after with swine flu, AIDS, Typhoid and two friggin new species of bacteria!

Oh come on people I jest. Here’s how SIT really works, the scientists breed a shit load of mosquito pupae, they place them in a machine and expose them to radiation, which in turn makes them sexually sterile, they release them into the wild where hopefully they will find a female mozzie to breed with and she will lay eggs that are unfertilized.Hmm. Say, if I get bitten by a friggin radiated mozzie…???

Psst Will a radiated mozzie be attractive enough to find a woman? There has got to be some side affects like, loss of leg hair,  a shriveled proboscis, nausea (can’t keep the blood down) and not to mention erectile dysfunction! Geez, being a male mozzie is gonna suck (not!).

Psst Again You can read a more scientific explanation on BBC News.

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