Just when you thought the Fukashima disaster couldn’t get any worse…enter radioactive boars. Yep, the wild beasts ,that had been hanging around the abandoned Japanese nuclear power plant , are now running amok in the vacated towns. Experts believe they are showing signs of being 300 times over the radioactive safety levels. With the government recently announcing people can soon return home to their abandoned towns the race is on to cull them. Seriously? Who would want to go back?
PSST If the boars are radioactive what the hell else is….just saying.
Oh for goodness sakes. The latest discovery of radioactive material being smuggled into Lebanon has been discovered in a shipment of maxi pads. Yes, some genius thought who the hell would look in 30 crates of feminine hygiene products? Hmm, back to the drawing boy boys .
PSST: Imagine if they were sold to unsuspecting women 😯
OK, firstly I had no ideer (excuse the pun) that Norwegian reindeer were radioactive! Seems the source of Caesium-137 is thanks to dust that blew across from that damn friggin Chernobyl nuclear power plant in 1986. Scientists have now discovered that the reindeer are more radioactive than ever, thanks to their over indulging of gypsy mushrooms which is uber high in radioactive materials. This probably explains Rudolph’s red nose.
No need to panic but WTF, a fisherman who caught a 275kg Bluefin tuna off the coast of New Zealand has been advised to have it checked for radioactivity as it could have been frolicking around the Fukushima reactor area in Japan during the big leak. Hmm, so in other words fish and more importantly friggin SHARKS could be radioactive time bombs. Dear lord, get out of the water, NOW!!!!
I went for a dip and my friggin hair fell out!!
Oh my, it seems the authorities at Japan’s Fukushima nuclear plant are going to begin releasing 11,500 tons of radioactive water into the Pacific Ocean to make more room in the storage tanks for the more highly contaminate liquids. Um, the Japanese government said the water which will be released poses no immediate threat to humans. Hmm, and by immediate you mean?
Look, we just want you to wear it as a safety precaution!
Holy friggin Silkwood Batman. No need for panic just yet, but a Savannah River Site worker, who accidentally pricked his finger on some waste materials, is being tested for internal radioactive contamination. OK, the scare meter has just gone into red. Evidently the man had been working with waste, contaminated with radionuclides, when his finger was punctured by something in the muck.Despite medics closing the wound, the poor victim won’t know for several weeks , if or by how much, he’s been contaminated. Oh dear, I am guessing the wife will be sleeping in the spare room until then!
Psst Hmm, wouldn’t he glow in the dark?