Tag Archives: rectum

Student Impaled On Bike Seat

Cyclist impaled on bicycle seatLook away bike riders this might make you wince. A Chinese student, who was merrily riding along to school, accidentally fell … but here’s where it all went terribly wrong…. when he fell the seat bent back and a steel rod under the seat went straight up his butt. Onlookers were horrified as the rod was unable to be dislodged. Enter firefighters who had to use the jaws of life to cut away the main part of the bicycle from his rear end so he could fit in the ambulance. Doctors were eventually able to remove the seat from his rectum but said “It damn near killed him!”

3 Comments

Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

There’s gold in them there hills!

How far would you go to avoid paying import tax? Well, eight South Koreans have been caught smuggling gold up their butts. Japanese custom officials caught the men on their second trip to Japan, where they were attempting to offload their valuable cargo tax free. Sheez, lucky it doesn’t rust!

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

No Pockets?

Oh my, a homeless man from Florida who was arrested and thrown in jail had been hiding 30 items in a condom up his butt. Police, doing a routine search of cells, noticed a piece of condom sticking out of Neil Lansing’s rectum. When removed they discovered it contained pills,matches, a cigarette, a lip balm container, a pharmacy receipt, a coupon, lip balm, unused condom and an empty syringe (with eraser covering the needle).

7 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Mousetrap

Bummer!

I’m sorry but a taser, pepper spray and a baton ain’t gonna calm a man who has a mouse up his butt, I’m just saying. A naked Noah Smith broke into a house in Seneca and began going ballistic. When police arrived he  tried to bite, slap and kick them, so they zapped, sprayed and whacked him. Later at the hospital x-rays revealed he had a mouse lodged in his rectum. Smith told the docs he didn’t have a clue how the rodent got there. Hmm, the Gere excuse.

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

That’s Gotta Be A Pain In The Butt

Oh for goodness sakes Gavin Stranger, what the hell were you thinking? The Washington inmate managed to smuggle a cigarette lighter, rolling papers, an ounce of tobacco ( size of a golf ball), a tattoo ink bottle, 8 tattoo needles, a one inch smoking pipe and a bag of pot, up his rectum. Yes, you heard me Loons, up his butt. The cops found the plastic bag containing all the content floating in a cell toilet after checking Mr Stranger for contraband over an hour and half earlier.  Hmm, despite Mr Stranger receiving additional charges, the police were somewhat impressed with the storage capacity of his ass.

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never