How To Make a Cupcake Taste So Much Better

Here’s the thing loons, if you are standing in line at a bakery and overhear someone behind you say ‘let’s hope this fat bitch doesn’t buy all the cupcakes’. What do you do loons, what do you do?  Well, you buy every goddam cupcake in the store, that is what. Well played.

First Wives Club

A Saudi woman went all fatwa on her hubby after he took another wife. On the night of hubby’s second wedding she got her brother to drive hubby’s car back and forth through red lights (which had cameras) and racked up $80,000 worth of fines. Happy wedding you bastard….

Jilted Stalker

Ladies, you might want to think twice about rejecting the advances of a work colleague. Take the tragic case of a Japanese man absolutely obsessed with a woman at work. He stalked, and stalked her to no avail. So, in the end, when he realised his advances were futile, he did what any crazy obsessed nutter does,  he poured hydrofluoric acid into her shoes. Egads, ouchy ouch. The poor girl ended up having the tips of her toes amputated, which makes wearing shoes near impossible. Anywho, he got 7 years, she got no toes. All around a lose/lose.

 

He Ain’t Heavy

Remember all those terrorist who escaped from Iraq’s Abu Ghraib prison last month? Yeah, well one of them had a score to settle with the person who had dobbed him in ….his brother (a policeman).  The angry brother organised a group of equally angry militants to execute his sibling and then blow up his house and car. There goes Christmas.

When Amish Go Wild

How does a group of Amish rejects reap their revenge after they have been ousted from their community? They sneak back in and cut off the men and women’s hair, that’s how. A group of Ohio Amish misbehaviors who were shown the door are believed to behind the attacks that left men with short raggedy beards and women with hacked to hell hair. Spiteful!

An Eye For An Eye Justice

OK loons, if your ex lover threw acid in your face, leaving you blind and disfigured, would you do the same back to him/her if you were given the opportunity? Hmm, well an Iranian court has done just that. Ameneh Bahrami, who is now blind and still extremely peeved has won the right to pour acid into the eyes of her attacker, Majid Movahedi.  Movahedi had stalked the then Tehran University student after she jilted him, before eventually throwing sulphuric acid  in her face as she waited for a bus. He was thrown in jail while Ameneh underwent 19 operations. However when the court awarded her compensation she refused, instead wanting Movahedi to endure the same fate as herself. Tomorrow he will be taken to a hospital, put under anesthetic while Ameneh injects twenty drops of acid into each eye.   Despite death threats and community backlash Ameneh says “I’m very happy. After six years I’m getting justice.”

Stolen Snow Shovel Revenge

The moral of the story is don’t be stealing someone elses snow shovel in Chicago. David Welles was so pissed that one of his neighbors would steal his snow shovel from his porch, he waited until the woman had used it to remove snow off her car  then grabbed his snow blower and proceeded to bury the car back under it.

Can You Hear Something Rustling?

Don’t mess with Chinese brothers Guo Gongwei and Guo Gongtian if you know what’s good for you.They have been arrested for releasing 500 poisonous snakes near the home of the village leader, known as Song, because of a feud. Seems they thought it was the best form of revenge. No shit Sherlock, feet up!

Jilted Hubby Uses Scare Tactics

No one said anything about her phobia!!!

The advantage of being a jilted hubby is you know all your wife’s fears. So when a 59 year old Swedish man sort revenge for being dumped, he rolled up with 19 little mice in a paper bag and shoved them into her letter box. Hmm, well it worked, her friggin musophobia kicked in when she woke up to find her apartment riddled with the little rodents and she is now being cared for in hospital. In the mean time the ex has been arrested on alleged unlawful threats and animal welfare offences. Naughty Hubby 0, Rodent Fearing Wife 0, 19 mice 1 (they are being cared for currently by the Stockholm police).

Don’t Mess With a Weasel

No, No, you got it all wrong, I want to thank you!

OK people, word of warning about weasels, they can be very, very vengeful. Don’t believe me, just ask Zhang of Wuchang. He pissed off his neighborhood weasel and now it poos on his table, leaves dead mice in his house and occasionally screams at him. All this because Zhang got rid of his missus. Hmm, the problem started when the weasel couple decided to move into Zhang’s house. All was going dandy until Zhang went for them with a stick (Geez !). Mr weasel scooted up the chimney but Mrs weasel got caught in a mousetrap. Enter Zhang’s wife. She took Mrs weasel into the mountains and let her go. Meanwhile Mr weasel is thinking they had done away with his one true love.Oh, now the gloves were really off. Next night Mr weasel does an almighty shit on Zhang’s table, followed by a scattering of dead mice corpses around the room and then for dramatic affect he jumped on Zhangs’ bed and screamed at him, like a weasel possessed.

Psst I’d be sleeping with one eye open if I were you!